Intimacy: Time is money

Time is money

By asdfasdf - 24/01/2009 15:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 182

You deserved it 5 958

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Too much of a good thing

By Anonymous - 21/05/2020 23:00

Today, my girlfriend complained that our quickies shouldn’t take 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 1 618

Stop begging

By cuckolddreams - 21/01/2015 19:06 - United States - Broken Bow

Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 274

You deserved it 11 744

By candy man - 04/09/2014 19:32 - United States - Chapel Hill

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 732

You deserved it 10 766

Get on with it!

By QuickieGirl - 16/09/2011 11:28 - United States

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 385

You deserved it 6 118

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 423

You deserved it 7 538

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 897

You deserved it 7 106

By beaverless - 02/05/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 526

You deserved it 17 577

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 10/10/2022 18:30 - Turkey

Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 469

You deserved it 481

Routine

By youaresodumb - 27/09/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 432

You deserved it 34 340

By pathetic - 20/08/2010 09:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 681

You deserved it 29 875

senseisuncommon 7

Monday 4 July 2011 8:09

are you telling us we should use the asshole more often? or just calling him an asshole?

HatchetMan 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 22:21

They all say they want someone who can go all night, but very few really do.

Comments

imahobbitlol 24

Saturday 9 May 2015 19:27

Lasting too long isn't always a good thing, vaginas get sore.

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 16 June 2015 21:18

You two need to get things worked out...

Cavsfodawin 21

Tuesday 21 June 2016 2:04

Well, you should feel conflicted about that.

ArbiterOfFML 24

Wednesday 9 August 2017 19:28

Sex isn't a right you jackass.

nexarcanum 8

Thursday 26 July 2018 20:16

Best compliment, or you're so bad that she wants it to end.

Keywords

Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Camping Food Fish Miscellaneous Vegan Health Holidays Ableism Video games Geek Gamers Love Relatable Parents Painful Customers Tattoos Mental health Annoying Bikes Motorbike Transportation Accident Art Concert Money Kids

The Top

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 876

You deserved it 7 381

Today, I learned my most recent ex-girlfriend is dating my previous ex-girlfriend who also broke my heart back then. I also learned that they both sometimes have threesomes with a man. I wanted to experiment by adding another woman when I was with each of them, but they always said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 426

The Top

Today, it’s almost half past midnight. I received a drunken voicemail from my husband saying that he won’t be coming home tonight because he’s too drunk to drive, but don’t worry, he’s staying at "Cindy’s house", safe and sound. Who's Cindy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 115

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 086

You deserved it 7 091

Today, I ordered takeout. When I looked in the bag, I saw they'd included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, then estimated that there must be at least four people eating such a large meal. I was eating alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 976

Today, as I've always done, I worked extra hard to move up but was never able to in this podunk town, because you have to be related to get anywhere. My wife loves this town and didn't believe me until she got promoted at her work and her "friends" started treating her differently. Welcome to reality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 67

Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 589

You deserved it 3 447

Today, my wife told me how she really felt about me, and said she didn't love me anymore. We got married last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 94

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments