Alcohol and Awkward: Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk....

By the-yao - 24/01/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 895

You deserved it 3 809

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Pour some more funny!

By Bruce - 12/03/2023 00:00

Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 130

By Bad Dancer - 05/07/2015 01:48 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 030

You deserved it 3 521

Chuds out on the town

By GeeThanks - 25/07/2013 02:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 568

You deserved it 3 987

Assumptions

By FreeTacos_ - 28/10/2015 05:23 - United States - Pueblo

Today, I told my crush that I liked her a lot. She told me not to message her when I'm drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 526

You deserved it 2 731

Boring

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 14:58 - Canada

Today, after drunk texting a girl the night before, I sent her a message saying I was sorry for everything I said. All she could say back? "Those were some of the most normal drunk texts I have ever read. I'd hate to see how boring you'd be sober." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 440

You deserved it 7 606

Jack-in-the-box

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 22:00

Today, I realized that I'm a better human being when drunk or high, because at least then I don't seem like a wind-up toy about to snap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 223

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 16:44 - France

Today, during a drunken night out, a really trashed friend said to me, "Jeez, even when I’m drunk, you're really ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 551

You deserved it 4 087

By Anonymous - 09/03/2015 12:15 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 359

You deserved it 3 519

By ak. - 02/03/2009 21:26 - United States

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 691

You deserved it 11 367

By drunkdial - 06/01/2010 05:53 - France

Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 343

You deserved it 4 608

geez_fml 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 4:17

That's pretty harsh.

wanderingidiot 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 22:08

all the more reason to drink!

Comments

geez_fml 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 4:17

That's pretty harsh.

wanderingidiot 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 22:08

all the more reason to drink!

FML_Add1cT 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 5:16

#6 hell ya. Hahaha

ashleynonymous 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 23:08

Try being cooler while sober!

urpeoplearedumb 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 2:00

that is hilarious.

AlexjnUK 3

Thursday 11 February 2010 11:56

Been there my friend, FYL

sxyKarri_94 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 6:01

I can't drink because I'm underage.… LETS DO THE FORK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL!!!

Dmars444 4

Thursday 23 June 2011 15:02

I get that all the time :p I get "your funnier when drunk" I do stand up comedy when i have been drinking :)

Megan98 18

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:50

Time to be an alcoholic.

techweed 12

Sunday 31 March 2013 21:08

Pretty sad...

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 388

You deserved it 7 199

Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 275

The Top

Today, I realized my coworker can't comprehend English, or any other language. When I mentioned this to a coworker, they accused me of being an ableist. This is the same person who insults him to his face, knowing he can't understand her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 100

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 802

You deserved it 12 120

Today, I discovered that my old roommate had left a full bag of cat litter on my porch and all over my yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 68

Today, my seven-year-old niece gave me a birthday card. Only she'd spelled my name as ‘Jenny.’ When I told her it was spelled with an i instead of a y, she cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 1 081

Today, I came back from my 3-month vacation in France. During my vacation I lost 32 lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door, he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 395

You deserved it 4 856

Today, I came home from a long business trip. I walked in the front door to see my house was a complete mess. The first thing my son said was, "Did you bring pizza?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 827

You deserved it 348