Intimacy: Time is money

Time is money

By asdfasdf - 24/01/2009 15:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 178

You deserved it 5 958

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Too much of a good thing

By Anonymous - 21/05/2020 23:00

Today, my girlfriend complained that our quickies shouldn’t take 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 1 615

Stop begging

By cuckolddreams - 21/01/2015 19:06 - United States - Broken Bow

Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 272

You deserved it 11 742

By candy man - 04/09/2014 19:32 - United States - Chapel Hill

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 729

You deserved it 10 766

Get on with it!

By QuickieGirl - 16/09/2011 11:28 - United States

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 381

You deserved it 6 117

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 421

You deserved it 7 538

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 896

You deserved it 7 104

By beaverless - 02/05/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 526

You deserved it 17 576

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 10/10/2022 18:30 - Turkey

Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 481

Routine

By youaresodumb - 27/09/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 431

You deserved it 34 338

By pathetic - 20/08/2010 09:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 677

You deserved it 29 870

senseisuncommon 7

Monday 4 July 2011 8:09

are you telling us we should use the asshole more often? or just calling him an asshole?

HatchetMan 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 22:21

They all say they want someone who can go all night, but very few really do.

Comments

2random 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 11:24

haha!! so its ok for a guy to say he doesnt want to have sex because he would rather play xbox , but a girl cant say sex takes too long ?

dakins 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 23:23

good point!

ifuckuprandomly 28

Sunday 12 June 2016 15:52

I've never known a man turn down sex, only women.

captcool024 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 9:07

you are an awful *****. ab.

shell0908 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 9:09

haha man u made my night with that comment u rock

Blobenshnogen 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 22:11

odd...i was thrown that line before too?

Bunbu 8

Tuesday 24 February 2009 23:02

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

senseisuncommon 7

Monday 4 July 2011 8:09

are you telling us we should use the asshole more often? or just calling him an asshole?

comedybreak 20

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:09

No, she's felling us to use the asshole. Judging by her picture she probably takes it in all three holes, like I do.

SaraAnn1401 8

Sunday 30 June 2013 5:03

Lmfao hell to the yeah!!!!!

HatchetMan 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 22:21

They all say they want someone who can go all night, but very few really do.

RyeGye24 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 0:43

No, not **** your life, **** you. Thats like complaining that your life is just going too well. gtfo

popoman 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 5:37

This calls for premature ejaculation.

wanderingidiot 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 22:06

WOW!!! surprising!! send her thisaways!

hank9216 0

Friday 13 March 2009 6:41

#15 and #17 its bad because they have NO sex

eschreib 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 21:08

i complain to my bf its not long enough

volvagia 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 5:18

what's not long enough?

senseisuncommon 7

Monday 4 July 2011 8:12

i see what you did here... i would have to say... his middle finger.

crazydoug 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 1:26

tell her to come to me, ill be done with her in 30 sec

bridgette5866 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 13:55

so you're quick? and proud of it?

Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Cops Transportation Fight Family Kids Miscellaneous AITA Mother in law Social Media Love Relationship advice Art Work Students Birds Animals Sleep Noise Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 818

You deserved it 2 837

Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 052

You deserved it 372

The Top

Today, I found out that my great-grandmother was a cougar, seducing men who were barely older than I am now. I did not need to know this information. Thanks Grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 208

Today, I went to change my socks after I stepped in a puddle of water. As I walked out of my bedroom with a fresh pair of socks, I stepped in the puddle again. Three times. That's four pairs of socks ruined. God, I'm such a dumbass sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 1 118

Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 102

Today, my girlfriend's 2lb chihuahua ate 500 dollars worth of textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 888

You deserved it 766

Today, my pasty white boyfriend told me he intended to try and grow dreadlocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 856

You deserved it 316

Today, I had a massive, pounding headache. I asked my mom for some painkillers and she said, "No. You don’t deserve pain relief. Ever. For anything." What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 80

Same thing different taste

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