Friends, Wanker and Love: Thanks buddy

Thanks buddy

By jackmehoffa - 03/04/2012 18:10 - United States - Green Bay

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 827

You deserved it 5 872

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Same thing different taste

By Lies - 19/08/2009 02:44 - United States

Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 781

You deserved it 5 951

By ameremanapparently - 26/03/2016 12:27 - United States - Carlisle

Today, someone told my girlfriend that I cheated on her. I've never cheated in my life. Instead of talking to me about it, she made a big post on Facebook about what a dick I am. Pretty much all the comments went along the lines of "What a bastard." and "Ugh, men are pigs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 081

You deserved it 2 017

By fmfb - 07/06/2011 23:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook and changed our relationship status to single just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 669

You deserved it 6 264

By wtfrelationship - 21/10/2009 04:07 - Singapore

Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 635

You deserved it 11 470

By Anonymous - 28/01/2012 21:52 - United States

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 746

You deserved it 4 921

By MiserableMan - 10/06/2014 04:02 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 219

You deserved it 12 270

By George - 15/01/2013 20:53 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 492

You deserved it 46 681

By Hellosinglelife - 28/03/2013 22:35 - Trinidad and Tobago - Diego Martin

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 106

You deserved it 3 648

Facebook official means it's serious

By DianneS - 07/07/2022 10:00

Today, I had the displeasure of watching my boyfriend’s Facebook go from “In a relationship” with me to “Single”, then switched to a big “In a relationship with” the girl he told me was “just a friend” post, after ending our 5-year relationship over text message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 104

Facebook official

By waitthatsnotme - 15/08/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month, she changed her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update, I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in a relationship with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 516

You deserved it 5 567

gracehi 31

Wednesday 4 April 2012 0:14

You call your hand, "Jill?" Good name I suppose. I call my fancy shower head, "Leo."

mjoyn98 1

Wednesday 4 April 2012 0:14

Explain it to your girlfriend if she's a keeper she'll understand. If she doesn't, you're probably better off with Jill. . .

Comments

copy125 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 16:26

Just ask he how Bills doing, if you know what I mean lol ;)

firefly319 7

Wednesday 4 April 2012 17:17

You should call it Bob or some male name. At least the fight would be way more interesting/amusing.

spottyblanket 8

Wednesday 4 April 2012 18:59

I have never heard of that before, is that an American expression?

swiftyfoul 5

Wednesday 4 April 2012 20:14

You should all google "Jill hand" and you would know what he means.

nsmy96 4

Wednesday 4 April 2012 20:46

Yeah, sure Jill is...

Nerfherder69 14

Thursday 5 April 2012 0:20

Every guy knows Jill

Fruitmonster2 15

Thursday 5 April 2012 4:08

I guess you could say, Jill gets around quite often.

jgraham0218 5

Thursday 5 April 2012 6:31

Are you high? He is one of the greatest actors ever!!!!!

braheem 5

Thursday 5 April 2012 7:16

haahahaa thats a best friend! :D

patacus 14

Thursday 5 April 2012 7:57

I call mine jackie.

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The Top

Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. It all was going fine until my mom asked aloud, "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied, "No." I'd actually been painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 443

You deserved it 4 300

Today, I had whiplash after my dad and I were rear ended by a suburban. Despite the state trooper saying I should go, my dad delayed taking me to the ER because he wanted to pick up the dog from "doggy daycare" and take her for a nice long walk, while I waited for my mom to come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 048

You deserved it 1 523

The Top

Today, I once again had another guy's sweaty crotch pushed into my face. I still don't see why I enjoy wrestling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 929

You deserved it 35 379

Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 159

You deserved it 2 921

Today, I'm extremely disabled and by all means terrible at drawing, but I tried anyway. Sure enough, my drawings looked like shit, but I still took pride in them. That is, until my brother looked at one of them and said, "Wow! That's awful!" Thanks for pointing that out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 129

Today, I was on a friend's trampoline trying to convince my mom that trampolines are safe and we should get one. While telling her, I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 456

You deserved it 35 045

Today, my dog pooped. In my lap. While I was driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 872

You deserved it 2 283

Today, I’m 27 with no friends and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’m socially awkward, and the idea of meeting people even in passing gives me panic attacks. I’ve been in treatment for years and no luck. All I can manage to do is work and sleep. I think it’s time to give up completely and just adopt a bunch of dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 180

Thanks buddy

Same thing different taste

Facebook official means it's serious

Facebook official

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