Friends, Wanker and Love: Thanks buddy

Thanks buddy

By jackmehoffa - 03/04/2012 18:10 - United States - Green Bay

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 827

You deserved it 5 872

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Lies - 19/08/2009 02:44 - United States

Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 781

You deserved it 5 951

By ameremanapparently - 26/03/2016 12:27 - United States - Carlisle

Today, someone told my girlfriend that I cheated on her. I've never cheated in my life. Instead of talking to me about it, she made a big post on Facebook about what a dick I am. Pretty much all the comments went along the lines of "What a bastard." and "Ugh, men are pigs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 081

You deserved it 2 017

By fmfb - 07/06/2011 23:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook and changed our relationship status to single just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 669

You deserved it 6 264

By wtfrelationship - 21/10/2009 04:07 - Singapore

Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 635

You deserved it 11 470

By Anonymous - 28/01/2012 21:52 - United States

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 746

You deserved it 4 921

By MiserableMan - 10/06/2014 04:02 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 219

You deserved it 12 270

By George - 15/01/2013 20:53 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 492

You deserved it 46 681

By Hellosinglelife - 28/03/2013 22:35 - Trinidad and Tobago - Diego Martin

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 106

You deserved it 3 648

Facebook official means it's serious

By DianneS - 07/07/2022 10:00

Today, I had the displeasure of watching my boyfriend’s Facebook go from “In a relationship” with me to “Single”, then switched to a big “In a relationship with” the girl he told me was “just a friend” post, after ending our 5-year relationship over text message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 104

Facebook official

By waitthatsnotme - 15/08/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month, she changed her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update, I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in a relationship with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 516

You deserved it 5 567

gracehi 31

Wednesday 4 April 2012 0:14

You call your hand, "Jill?" Good name I suppose. I call my fancy shower head, "Leo."

mjoyn98 1

Wednesday 4 April 2012 0:14

Explain it to your girlfriend if she's a keeper she'll understand. If she doesn't, you're probably better off with Jill. . .

Comments

berichsoon 11

Wednesday 4 April 2012 1:02

Hooking up with Jill again huh

PrincessPesa 20

Wednesday 4 April 2012 1:06

OP, I think you should take this FML and turn it into the perfect poly amorous relationship! Properly introduce the two, and your girlfriend will probably come around. Surely dear Jill can do more than just jack (sorry, I had to)! Show your lady Jill's skills and the three of you can be happy together!

Shicky_fml 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 1:10

None of you understand, the hand should be Veronica!

PrincessPesa 20

Wednesday 4 April 2012 1:13

Is the other hand named Betty?

KittyWantMilk 4

Wednesday 4 April 2012 1:14

i hope you talked out this new relationship with Jill first..

Brownie101abc 7

Wednesday 4 April 2012 1:23

Who names their hand?

herpdeladerp 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 1:31

How did Jill feel about it?

hqbrat 8

Wednesday 4 April 2012 1:56

Why would you name your hand O.o

KriiFahMoro 9

Wednesday 4 April 2012 2:03

Look at your open left hand. Your thumb and pointer finger make a backwards "J". Your middle finger is the "I". Your ring finger and pinkie represent the two "L"s. If you read the FML, you would know that "Jill" is a euphemism. He didn't actually name his hand...

milfsforlife 3

Wednesday 4 April 2012 2:08

Someone needs a new hobby...

MrAfricanNinja 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 6:04

Masturbating is not a hobby, now go away.

DKjazz 20

Wednesday 4 April 2012 7:45

It's not a hobby, it's a way of life. It's an artform. It's a competitive sport. Masturbation is life, and life is masturbation. The sooner you figure that out, the sooner you are enlightened.