Friends, Wanker and Love: Thanks buddy

Thanks buddy

By jackmehoffa - 03/04/2012 18:10 - United States - Green Bay

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 827

You deserved it 5 872

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Lies - 19/08/2009 02:44 - United States

Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 780

You deserved it 5 951

By ameremanapparently - 26/03/2016 12:27 - United States - Carlisle

Today, someone told my girlfriend that I cheated on her. I've never cheated in my life. Instead of talking to me about it, she made a big post on Facebook about what a dick I am. Pretty much all the comments went along the lines of "What a bastard." and "Ugh, men are pigs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 081

You deserved it 2 017

By fmfb - 07/06/2011 23:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook and changed our relationship status to single just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 669

You deserved it 6 264

By wtfrelationship - 21/10/2009 04:07 - Singapore

Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 635

You deserved it 11 469

By Anonymous - 28/01/2012 21:52 - United States

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 746

You deserved it 4 921

By MiserableMan - 10/06/2014 04:02 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 219

You deserved it 12 270

By George - 15/01/2013 20:53 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 492

You deserved it 46 681

By Hellosinglelife - 28/03/2013 22:35 - Trinidad and Tobago - Diego Martin

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 106

You deserved it 3 648

Facebook official means it's serious

By DianneS - 07/07/2022 10:00

Today, I had the displeasure of watching my boyfriend’s Facebook go from “In a relationship” with me to “Single”, then switched to a big “In a relationship with” the girl he told me was “just a friend” post, after ending our 5-year relationship over text message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 104

Facebook official

By waitthatsnotme - 15/08/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month, she changed her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update, I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in a relationship with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 516

You deserved it 5 567

gracehi 31

Wednesday 4 April 2012 0:14

You call your hand, "Jill?" Good name I suppose. I call my fancy shower head, "Leo."

mjoyn98 1

Wednesday 4 April 2012 0:14

Explain it to your girlfriend if she's a keeper she'll understand. If she doesn't, you're probably better off with Jill. . .

Comments

Rocker3250 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 2:20

Haha I just learned about "Jill" yesterday! I actually kinda drew a diagram on my right hand today!

lylee001 6

Wednesday 4 April 2012 2:29

It appears as Jill had a grip on things hence the issue

menacingsprite 3

Wednesday 4 April 2012 2:38

Obviously your girlfriend needs an explanation and if she doesn't understand or get it then Jill is obviously the less psycho of the two.

MrSaxMan 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 3:49

Shouldve said Rosie Palm and her five sisters

Tritribaby 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 4:14

Lmfao thats wicked funny bruh lolol damn how does she not know every guy has a little Jill time atleast once in his life! Even some girls!

codkid15 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 4:17

That stinks

laurenmacias 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 4:58

As a girl... Your girlfriend is being a b**ch

HeatherrrKuhnapp 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 5:08

Lol it's Called Jill because when you hold you hand up it makes the name Jill. SwiftKarateChop fans get this xD

StrikingViking 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 5:35

Jack'n Jill. Heehee.

hateevryone 14

Wednesday 4 April 2012 5:58

smh....facebook did it again lol

Keywords

Work Management Jealousy Love Mental health Relationship advice Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Gifts Mother in law Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Exams Students Weird AITA Argument Fear Insects

The Top

Today, I went to a fancy restaurant. I was coming right from work and brought a change of clothes with me. I parked in an empty corner of the parking lot to change. As I was pulling my pants up, I noticed that I was facing an apartment complex where an old guy was watching me from his balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 271

You deserved it 19 597

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 274

You deserved it 14 939

The Top

Today, I made broccoli and peas with dinner. My girlfriend pouted, sulked, and refused to eat "yucky veggies", demanding fries or chips. Apparently, I'm dating a fucking toddler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 245

Today, my mother told me she forgot what a verb is. I'm homeschooled, and she's my teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 705

You deserved it 5 090

Today, I went to pick up my car from where I parked it last night. I walked over to my parking spot only to find a vegetable stand there in its place. Apparently, that's the location of the Saturday Market and they had my car towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 888

You deserved it 25 602

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 838

You deserved it 2 253

Today, my mother resolved to never visit McDonald's again. Not because of ethics or health concerns, but because they charged her for extra barbecue sauce. She bitched out the man in the drive-through for a good five minutes, while I sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 434

You deserved it 3 286

Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 679

Thanks buddy

Same thing different taste

Facebook official means it's serious

Facebook official

Top comments

Comments