Love, Kids, Pranks and Parents: Protective

Protective

By Anonymous - 26/12/2012 18:30 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 920

You deserved it 5 372

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By sierraisfucked - 02/06/2009 07:55 - United States

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 485

You deserved it 4 192

By MC - 15/08/2011 02:51 - Canada

Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 516

You deserved it 39 596

What the…?

By Anonymous - 05/02/2024 05:00

Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 108

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 517

You deserved it 2 983

By blah - 21/07/2011 14:10 - United States

Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 693

You deserved it 3 058

By Anonymous - 04/03/2014 04:12 - United States - Woodland

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 153

You deserved it 3 208

By Anonymous - 18/09/2010 14:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 418

You deserved it 29 389

By geeb - 23/02/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 592

You deserved it 36 493

By KayKay - 23/09/2016 06:33 - United States - Ware

Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 395

You deserved it 1 359

By Anonymous - 23/11/2016 16:58

Today, I bumped into my English teacher at an AA meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 475

You deserved it 1 022

redhedsaysrawr 18

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:10

Troll mom is winning

Harpy20 24

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:10

Twat swat level: EXPERT.

Comments

DarkHelmet 10

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:17

Mom with the grade A **** block

ElricMustang 23

Thursday 27 December 2012 1:15

AA grade

mod3rator 2

Friday 28 December 2012 2:01

31 in you pic, the hand looks like a penis cumming out of a dudes face...

Gremlinswife 13

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:21

I must admit depending on the age of OP of course, this was a brilliant move on moms behalf.

LupeTabasco 5

Friday 28 December 2012 1:42

I doubt she's in her 20's seeing as she has a baby brother. So probably mid-late teens.

wysegirl 24

Thursday 23 August 2018 18:05

My sister was born when I was 25 but not my mom's kid she belongs to my step-mother. also depends on how young the mom had her too..

amerikaninfidel 2

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:22

Awesome Mom is Awesome

superrocket19 17

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:23

That's just her way of introducing your family. Be happy she didn't get angry about it OP

Alihb 16

Wednesday 24 April 2013 21:42

that's a cat not a puppy......

Charleybelle 14

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:31

I can't think of a way out of that one..your moms winning

howdeedoo 22

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:34

How was OP supposed to know that her mom was going to say anything?

interesting33 36

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:35

I would be so angry

yscpunkchick 14

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:45

I haven't read an FML in a while that actually made me laugh! That sounds like some shit my own Mother would pull!

btstig 11

Thursday 27 December 2012 2:39

I got something your mom can pull !

mikelust1977 7

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:45

What a twat

TheDrifter 23

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:49

He should have still passed on his number, score some points with mommy dearest for his acceptance of your (imaginary) flaws.

Keywords

OCD Health Relatable Mental health Work Awkward Friends Vacation Boredom Music Transportation Annoying Jewelry Love AITA Embarrassing Cars Family Babysitter Kids Parents Miscellaneous Death Thief Money Food Birthday Farts Gross Underwear

The Top

Today, my dad texted me saying he had "big news." I immediately called, thrilled, because I assumed he meant that he finally found a job and that our money troubles were over. The "big news" was him being excited at seeing an actor from one TV show he likes in another TV show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 589

You deserved it 2 838

Today, I learned that it’s unwise to ask my cheating boyfriend, “What does she have that I don’t?” I was reduced to tears when he told me every single detail this new girl has that makes her so amazing. Now I’m researching plastic surgery and tummy tuck websites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 268

The Top

Today, in an attempt to save money on waxing, I bought Veet hair removal cream. I also discovered it has the same effect on carpets. Now I have to pay for a replacement. So much for saving money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 260

You deserved it 13 909

Today, my roommate told me that unscented deodorant prevents ingrown hairs on the bikini line. She shared this beauty tip with me when I caught her using my Lady Speed Stick on her snatch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 596

You deserved it 3 032

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 101

You deserved it 3 444

Today, my boyfriend's mother hung a picture of him and his ex-girlfriend up. We've been together for 3 years now. Guess she really does hate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 787

You deserved it 4 127

Today, I, a 33 year-old guy, had to explain to my 27 year-old girlfriend that she does NOT pee out of her vaginal opening, but does in fact have a separate hole she pees from. She didn’t believe me. After showing her a diagram of the female anatomy online, she said, “Yeah well I don’t have one of those.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 127

Today, I got a call from a job I had applied for. Everything went great until I realized I had applied to the wrong location, across town. I'm so broke, I went to the interview anyway. It will cost me more to pay for the gas to drive there to work, than what I will actually make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 113

You deserved it 2 273

Protective

Same thing different taste

What the…?

Top comments

Comments