Property dispute

By Anonymous - 19/01/2014 22:59 - United States - Dallas

Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML
I agree, your life sucks 54 812
You deserved it 11 954
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Top comments

P_M95 8

If she truly loves you she shouldn't care what her parents think. As long as you are an honest nice guy.

295 16
hazardmuffin 21

Asking for his blessing would be respecting his view. Asking for permission makes it sound like his daughter's choice isn't really hers, which is where the "tradition" came from. Back when women really DIDN'T have that choice.

150 6

Comments

CeeCee_fml 16

Even if he did not agree with the way you went about it, was all of that really necessary? Some people are more traditional than others and there is nothing wrong with that. He did not have to be a dick about it. I actually find going to the parents/guardians before popping the question cute, but that is just me. Anyways, in a way he kind of gave you his "blessing" to marry his daughter anyways because according to his rant his opinion does not matter. So I say to hell with him and ask his daughter anyway. Good luck! :)

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alexandraerin 6

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14 28
chosha_fml 26

All these people slamming the dad, when he is clearly showing respect for his daughter and her autonomy. Good for him!

43 13
clrichmond2009 24

agreed! if my husband had asked my dad for permission to marry me, I'd have likely said no when he popped the question!

10 7
FabiusSpeck 3

wow what an idiot then you should love your husband really much

0 2
outoftown 26

Family tradition collision! Sounds like you didn't get to know her family well. My dad had the same outlook, but would've just chuckled and cleared up your misconceptions.

20 1
Carsman6665 4

Well if he thinks its unnecessary and immature than he couldn't be mad if he married her anyways.

6 10
EdenCrystal 21

I understand you are trying to respect her father's opinion but traditions like that need to go. The daughter's permission is the only permission you need. In a way, her dad was right. I still feel bad for you though. Hopefully you two can spend the rest of your lives together!

25 9
smokecloud_ 37

If you don't like the tradition, don't do it. There are people, myself included, who would be tickled pink if their SO asked for the parent's blessing. (Blessing being a better word than permission) I'd see it as showing my family respect, and wanting a nurture an amicable relationship. Yeah, it came from a time where women were property, blahblahblah, but haven't we progressed beyond that? If it's not something you like, cool. Don't participate. But don't act like everyone who asks for a blessing/permission to marry is a sexist, stuck-in-the-middle-ages pig. Oh, and OP, go through with it! :D Like everyone is saying, he kind of DID give you permission. Most in-laws suck anyways. Eh, what can ya do.

11 4
emilyyy_maryyy 14

Maybe you should have asked for his blessing and not necessarily his permission. Still, FYL OP. I hope you still propose.

14 3
Tundulinski 7

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11 25
Dynosaur_dollie 38

He's not twisted, that tradition had to do with daughters being a father's property in the old days. A marriage was at one point more of a transaction between the suitor and the father. Now many people view it as a sign of respect for the father, clearly this father views it as it once was and not a sign of respect.

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xThatOneWeirdGuy 18

I know you meant well, but he's kind of right. It is your girlfriend's decision only. Hopefully you can make amends. Good luck OP

13 2
Chazzzor 10

Ask the girl first if she wants to marry you. Then and only if she says yes do you ask the dad - if the daughter thinks it's a good idea. When I was young after asking my girlfriend to marry me and giving her a small ring, then I asked her father. He responded by asking me what I'd do if he said no. I said that she was over 18 and we would get married anyway but we'd like to have his blessing.

9 5
Raesin 21

So you basically asked him permission and then laughed in his face that you'd do it whatever he said. How rude.

18 5
Zebediabolical 39

There's a difference between permission and blessing. If he'd asked permission and the dad had said no and they went ahead anyway, that would be a slap in the face. But asking for someone's blessing is more along the lines of 'Well, I love your daughter and I'm going to be in her life for a very long time. Can we bury any problems we have and try to be decent inlaws.'

8 1
Chazzzor 10

Not quite - I was honest and had balls. I did't mean to offend him, but his daughter was old enough to make her own decision. BTY - the more I got to know her dad the less I liked him. But I never treated him with disrespect.

5 1