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Just explain to your dad that you're going to do it anyways so he should start looking, then tell your boyfriend that your dad is lazy and explain the situation to him.

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Or just move in with your boyfriend so he has no one to pay his bills, then he won't have that excuse anymore. He doesn't need to ask your father's permission for you to move in. (and since you guys were going to get married, and move in together anyway, it's just putting things a little backwards) Good Luck OP, and Congrats!!!

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Just some advice. Don't ask the dad for permission. Most girls I know say it's stupid or demeaning to ask because it makes it seem like the father has control and can tell/give away his daughter at will. IMO don't ask the dad.

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I disagree, 182. I'll just give my two cents. Speaking with the father or mother or both is just a tradition. It's a way of letting them know of your intention. You don't have to do it, but I think it's kind of a respect thing. Seeing as most people getting married are adults, they are at legal liberty to make their own decisions so the dad usually gives approval, even if he doesn't like the guy a whole lot. Most people are going to marry anyway. I only heard of one case where a dad said no. He just advised the guy to wait bc they'd only been dating two months. So they waited and married eventually.

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Her father is beyond selfish; he's a user, and he's financially abusing his daughter. Where is the mom? Exactly how many people are sponging off this one woman? You always hear about the young people who had to move back in with dear old mom & dad due to the bad economy. This post makes me wonder how many dear old moms & dads don't want them to leave!

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Did you read the FML? Of course she lives with the father! Why else would he call her the only moneymaker of the house? If she didn't live with her family, why would he care about how much money she makes? Are you high or were you just trying to find any place to espouse your women's rights crap?

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Exactly! It's really not "asking permission". Two adults are free to do whatever they want. Maybe it is different where OP is from, but around here, it's a way for the guy to let the parents know of his intentions and I think it's just a way to show your respect and appreciation to the parents. Fathers rarely say no unless they have their kids on a leash like OP is (I'm assuming she's paying rent for this deadbeat) sometimes they may offer advice, like telling you to wait a bit longer. These feminist extremists need to get a grip. It is not demeaning, chill out.

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It's interesting that to move out is the one most prevalent answer. I know that the dad is being uncommonly selfish, but if this happened to me and I tried to move out, my dad would guilt trip me about how he supported me throughout my life etc and that I'm ungrateful. Especially being Chinese, where there is a huge emphasis on filial obedience...I don't know what I could do to extricate myself from this situation. I hope the OP will pull through though!

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Maybe he thinks it's important to have the parents' permission and blessings. Cause personally I feel that way too. It's all about upbringing, culture and personal opinion.

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I admire guys who ask for the fathers blessing out if respect, but not permission. I want my son to grow up and be respectful enough to do that, but still be a man and put his girlfriend first. And I want my daughter to find a guy who respects us enough to ask for our blessing - which I will give happily if he is man enough to do, but I know it's up to my daughter not us, and ad long as she's happy I am too

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You are the only one in the house with a job, meaning you can feed at least two people(you and your father). Why the hell aren't you moving out? You are more than capable of sustaining yourself. Also, people should stop bashing her boyfriend. He is just being considerate of her [stupid] family's wishes. He is taking it to far, but it's still not his fault.

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