Love: Lonely - FML

Lonely

By Anonymous - 13/01/2012 03:50 - United States

Today, I left my empty shower running so I could pretend I didn't still live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 688

You deserved it 29 960

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Same thing different taste

By liynda - 06/05/2011 01:49 - Canada

Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 066

You deserved it 15 560

By lonesome - 15/12/2014 03:22 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 548

You deserved it 6 239

By wtfisgoingon - 28/04/2013 10:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 349

You deserved it 3 695

By Username - 14/03/2011 06:53

Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home, she even took the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 086

You deserved it 5 656

By Fire_Crotch - 14/08/2010 06:27 - Canada

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 855

You deserved it 48 715

By youlovewaffles - 03/08/2019 04:00

Today, I was talking to myself in the shower, pretending I was Oprah. After I got out, my little brother asked if I was singing in the bathroom. I almost said no, but admitting to singing seemed a lot less embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 425

By HomeAlone - 24/04/2016 04:45 - United States

Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 877

You deserved it 21 287

Time to move

By Anonymous - 05/05/2021 06:01

Today, after taking a shower, I realised that my landlord was peeking in the whole time through broken ventilator. Once he tried to get into my room, using his keys. I couldn't tell the landlord's wife, as I didn't have any proof so I left the house, even though my rent was long due. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 87

By Anonymous - 13/05/2012 15:12 - United States - Monson

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 906

You deserved it 4 059

Brain fart

By jonjon - 13/06/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, after spending the evening with friends, I went home and realized that the living room light was on. Thinking someone was robbing me, I hid behind a bush. I got impatient and crept up to the door. Then I remembered that I'd left the light on before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 954

You deserved it 47 290

Next

Top comments

LawSixx 11

Friday 13 January 2012 8:52

What a way to waste water as well.

kareltje 17

Friday 13 January 2012 8:52

WTF? Don't be so selfish! Think about the environment, dude! ;) I'll get me coat...

Comments

tmd4L 7

Friday 13 January 2012 9:32

At least water isn't valuable or anything..

ChaosAngel17 14

Friday 13 January 2012 9:44

Bobby Boucher would not approve.

anzie_fml 9

Friday 13 January 2012 9:44

Ask the girl who was enjoying her armpit grossness to join you/use your shower... She could probably use that shower, and you wouldn't be alone. Win-win situation :D

rahrah765765 11

Friday 13 January 2012 11:56

Haha his water bill will be less now that stinky is around! And he will have some one to yell out to when the pizza arrives! Win win!

lajaynay 15

Friday 13 January 2012 9:45

So, you just pretend that someone else is showering? It makes a little more sense to leave a tv on. Good luck finding a friend!

j_cat187 19

Friday 13 January 2012 10:14

The brave little toaster is gona eat my braiiiinns!!!

nursegaga 0

Friday 13 January 2012 10:16

Either your life really sucks or you just don't care about you water bill

A100893 30

Friday 13 January 2012 10:17

Go out and find some people to talk to.

khaya 9

Friday 13 January 2012 10:27

Maybe a cat?

pdp_fml 21

Friday 13 January 2012 10:40

I think a dog is better than a cat. Dogs will show you affection, whereas cats usually stick to themselves.

teyyoshi 19

Friday 13 January 2012 10:50

maybe you can show us your FB account...i bet you will not be alone!!

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The Top

Today, my 15 year-old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 944

You deserved it 14 033

Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. It all was going fine until my mom asked aloud, "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied, "No." I'd actually been painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 442

You deserved it 4 299

The Top

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 557

You deserved it 7 491

Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 294

You deserved it 7 515

Today, after my ex had promised his mother he’d give something from her estate to my kids when she died, so she never bothered to change her will to include them, and she died a few weeks ago so I asked him about it because my eldest is going to university soon. He laughed in my face and shut the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 296

Today, I posted a blurb on Twitter about why I couldn’t watch tonight’s episode of my favorite show until 3 hours after it airs. Apparently, tonight’s episode had a plot twist 7 years in the making. Everyone spoiled it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 666

You deserved it 2 118

Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 319

You deserved it 19 927

Today, my girlfriend told me on Facebook to stop calling/texting her because she lost her phone. Right under her post was "sent from Facebook for iPhone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 455

You deserved it 4 662