Love: Hey you

Hey you

By djteller - 25/04/2009 00:13 - Israel

Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 043

You deserved it 48 714

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Same thing different taste

By DMO - 07/07/2009 05:26 - United States

Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 732

You deserved it 63 919

By splitzville - 16/03/2010 20:12 - United States

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 962

You deserved it 40 858

By Anonymous - 17/01/2013 00:53 - United States - Wahiawa

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 639

You deserved it 4 607

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 913

You deserved it 4 497

By Rizma - 27/11/2014 15:12 - France - Grâces

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 978

You deserved it 4 567

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 962

You deserved it 40 485

By Jarryd - 10/02/2012 05:40 - Australia

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 557

You deserved it 7 491

By whoops - 09/07/2014 05:38 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 740

You deserved it 20 152

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 902

You deserved it 6 672

By gymbob - 06/05/2009 11:36 - United States

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 768

You deserved it 103 403

skyle_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 9:08

I hate people who spit all over the floor. YDI.

CaptainJellyBean 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 9:09

Ah, how inconvenient. I'm sure she was in fact impressed. Imagine how many envelopes you could seal with that amount of saliva!

Comments

night_fox1233 16

Tuesday 2 June 2015 20:24

How do you impress someone by smiling?

Annies 17

Thursday 20 May 2021 4:46

if you need to spit, do it in a bathroom.

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Abuse Birthday Relatable Social Media Money Scams Parents School Kids Education Health Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Music Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Cops Transportation Fight Family Customers Work Gross

The Top

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 130

You deserved it 5 932

Today, my dad, who never supported us growing up, and who calls once a month to collect his monthly living expenses, gave me an ultimatum: either buy him a plane ticket so that he can come live with me forever (he's a raging alcoholic) OR to send him $4,500 US Dollars (which where he lives is someone's 6 month salary). FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 106

The Top

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 536

You deserved it 6 506

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 411

You deserved it 3 291

Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 018

You deserved it 7 000

Today, the jackoffs at my new job kept making jokes about my prosthetic leg. When I finally lost my shit and told one of them to back off, he said "Woah there, Mr Pistorius!" then said he'll avoid using the restroom now in case I decide to shoot him through the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 038

You deserved it 1 892

Today, I have a permanent illness. Whenever I'm too unwell to manage the housework or children, my hubby does even less than usual. As soon as I'm well enough, I have a mountain of work to do, which makes me sick again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 121

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 516

You deserved it 3 422

Hey you

Same thing different taste

Hott

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