Intimacy: Hands on the wheel

Hands on the wheel

By Username - 05/10/2011 00:02 - United States

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 963

You deserved it 12 660

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Same thing different taste

By Victoria - 21/10/2010 18:10 - United States

Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 841

You deserved it 48 313

By well then... - 15/06/2013 05:04 - Canada - London

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 417

You deserved it 4 788

By Whoops - 28/01/2010 20:21 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 462

You deserved it 36 461

Unexpected

By Matt988 - 22/03/2021 23:00 - India

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 277

Hogs gone wild

By NotoriousSRJ - 28/01/2011 15:43 - Canada

Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn't working, I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 286

You deserved it 4 336

By thebickster - 06/03/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 571

You deserved it 49 761

By Sarah-D - 29/07/2016 05:31

Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 254

You deserved it 2 253

By sufia - 29/09/2016 11:14 - Pakistan

Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 345

You deserved it 1 170

Hey you

By pappy - 03/05/2019 13:00 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 960

You deserved it 309

By suzanneallen - 11/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 127

You deserved it 40 939

ollie179 21

Wednesday 5 October 2011 8:40

What's this? A gun? A knife? You people make me sick. It must be a gun, it has a sort of rounded tip. Wait...hang on. My mistake...

RockstarRN 10

Wednesday 5 October 2011 8:37

Just be honest. If it was a guy cop he would probably understand why you were rushing. Hope it was worth the ticket!

Comments

lucas18xx53 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 5:22

LMFAO

lulzmylife 4

Thursday 6 October 2011 6:11

Dang, I've been pulled over for speeding before, and I never had to get patted down. I hope I never have occasion to move to your state!

LovelyAngiee 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 6:50

If by stiffy you mean your penis. . .

bdubz4 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 8:34

Haha as if you'd get hard over a text :P

Yetifoot 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 8:41

Charge the cop for sexual abuse.

Jovecove 13

Thursday 6 October 2011 10:56

Anal.

alicekyra 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 16:23

poster of comment sounds like the shane dawson vid.. is that a thick money filled wallet or are you just happy to see me?;) *in shananay voice*

wickedevaa 4

Thursday 6 October 2011 19:45

Bahahahahaha

justanotherhuman 21

Friday 7 October 2011 5:15

Dear OP, YDI; never put passion before principle.

GreekItalian 6

Friday 7 October 2011 5:31

"Is that a gun?" "No sir, that's my penis." XD

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weird Shopping My ex Awkward Relatable Family Racism Kids Love AITA Cheating Work Break-ups Cute Cats Animals Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Mental health Psychology Health Neighbours Cops Parents Scary Stressed out

The Top

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You deserved it 74 251

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The Top

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You deserved it 291

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I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 1 113

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I agree, your life sucks 7 771

You deserved it 8 247

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I agree, your life sucks 30 834

You deserved it 18 137

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I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 376

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I agree, your life sucks 53 839

You deserved it 15 205