Intimacy: DUDE! WTF?

DUDE! WTF?

By imanidiot - 03/03/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 258

You deserved it 152 414

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Same thing different taste

What he is thinking?

By fishyrael - 12/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 834

You deserved it 297

By suzanneallen - 11/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 126

You deserved it 40 939

By mentallyscarred - 31/01/2011 09:34 - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 147

You deserved it 4 704

By Anonymous - 20/08/2015 17:25 - United States - Houston

Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 069

You deserved it 2 829

By someoneneedsassistance - 24/04/2015 15:07 - United States - Woodford

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 336

You deserved it 4 028

By tvaladie - 17/04/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 139

You deserved it 350 293

Move!

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 15:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 598

You deserved it 54 256

Hello hello hello

By Bonnie and Clyde - 08/05/2015 02:18 - United States - Humble

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 080

You deserved it 9 337

Kinda sus

By kmf - 10/08/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 138

You deserved it 14 356

By TheIrony - 19/07/2016 21:50 - United States

Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 169

You deserved it 3 536

imversatile 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:02

How in the world did you think nobody would see you?? Doesn't your car have windows like the rest of us?

Sora_fml 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:12

lmao, shoulda told him that it itched, you were just scratching. Or ask if he wanted to join in.

Comments

othisbeast 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:39

wow ur gay

sahreeg 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:39

yr now allowed to do that ???? O_O NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crabby 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:47

You should only do this when your car is moving, not when it's stopped!

AmericanRedcoat 6

Wednesday 5 October 2011 21:58

you could all it stick shift! XD

Brainnnnz 19

Wednesday 20 August 2014 20:18

Uhh... what?

nat66623 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:56

Eww how gross are you!!!

Bubs_fml 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 17:03

I've been bored, stuck in traffic. But never that bored! Have some self control!

jESuS_lOVeS_mE69 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 17:09

Now you need 2 tissues. 1 to clean yourself up and another to wipe away the tears of embarrasment

Huzzy11 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 16:06

use the same tissue!!

Brainnnnz 19

Wednesday 20 August 2014 20:19

Oh yes!

bongo200 1

Tuesday 3 March 2009 17:12

Seriously?...YOu jacked off in the car?.... what the hell is wrong with you?

jESuS_lOVeS_mE69 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 17:25

Good thing he wasn't stuck in traffic on the bus

rachelforgot2 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 17:28

ha ya i tried that once gotta be moving and havea blanket covreing your lap! but it may be easier for a girl??

Brainnnnz 19

Wednesday 20 August 2014 20:21

Nice! Tell us more!

NoKo_fml 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 17:39

tint ur windows to alteast 20% fool

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 027

You deserved it 5 457

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 167

You deserved it 2 953

The Top

Today, after 10 months of hard work, it was the opening night of the show I was directing. Everybody loved it, except my mother. She called it the worst thing she'd ever seen. Thanks for the support, mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 982

You deserved it 3 420

Today, a girl said to me, "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend". I hadn't said anything to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 924

You deserved it 3 228

Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 425

You deserved it 32 224

Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 170

You deserved it 5 428

Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 087

You deserved it 34 386

Today, my idiot husband put a can of cat food in our daughter's lunchbox as a "joke". The school called CPS. Now we have to go to a hearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 254

DUDE! WTF?

Same thing different taste

What he is thinking?

Move!

Hello hello hello

Kinda sus

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