Kids, Neighbours and Miscellaneous: Defense!

Defense!

By ruined_suit - 17/04/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 105

You deserved it 7 123

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By signupsheetfail - 12/08/2009 19:02 - Canada

Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 875

You deserved it 41 873

Get off my lawn!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 14:09

Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 099

You deserved it 101

By bettercallpeta - 15/02/2013 05:42 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 074

You deserved it 11 151

1, 2, 3… FIRE!

By Username - 11/08/2011 04:53 - United States

Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 983

You deserved it 15 247

By Anonymous - 12/01/2014 17:28 - United States - Sharon

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 719

You deserved it 3 725

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:34 - United States

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 498

You deserved it 62 856

By lovehurts - 28/12/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I recieved a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three foot range. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 855

You deserved it 57 632

Sorry

By FailedSniper - 22/03/2011 16:31 - United States

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having, I shot at him with the sniper gun I'd bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was OK. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 151

You deserved it 53 968

By no - 17/11/2014 02:26 - United States

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 630

You deserved it 3 998

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 226

You deserved it 3 513

roll_fukng_tide 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 1:56

damn man. that does suck. my suggestion... get a paintball gun and have some fun of your own :p jk. dont do that.

caligal14 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 2:09

While I don't really know the whole story, but I do know that my neighbors are really nice and just the type of people that would put our trashcans or whatever back in our driveway if they blew away or we left them out, and we'd do the same for them, so... fyl.

Comments

Pumert 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 8:42

Um just so you know paintballs are vegetable oil based so the paint should come out rather easily

meddude 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 8:48

why the hell would you go into your neighbor's backyard at all without permission? it's not a FYL, it's a F your new suit's life

Jad_fml 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 8:50

paintballs do not stain. Ive been playing competetive paintball for three years, i know what im talking about and im calling fake on this one.

ffpoisongirl 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 9:12

C'mon, man. Paintballs don't stain. Even I know that, and the closest I've gotten is eating one on a dare. Easiest five bucks I ever made.

betterthanthou 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 9:15

The people who say "you deserve it because you touched someone else's shit" are a bunch of idiots. I will steal your trash cans if they are sitting by the road. Stupid tools.

goathumpy 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 9:43

#92 fails at being funny.

LazyLlama 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 10:43

#7: "YDI. I'd be PISSED if you were touching my personal belongings." ...Really? You consider your GARBAGE your "personal belongings"? If that's so, it should be FYL for you #7...

Kick62 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 10:55

YDI voters will have 2/4 of the following traits: a) teenage b) living on their parent's property c) fans of Ron Paul d) profoundly lacking in understanding about how people function in society

Curtieeeez 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 11:28

And what the feck is a paintball gun gonna do if there's a burglar?

starbaby 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 12:28

My neighbors and I put it in eachothers back yards all the time because it you leave it outside your fence 2 long hoa will fine you. Its neighborly to help out....I feel bad for you people who see that as creepy....