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Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I recieved a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three foot range. FML

By lovehurts - / Monday 28 December 2010 20:41 / United States
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  Reyo  |  2

#97: Go ahead and shoot yourself in the balls at close range with a paintball gun. Go on, prove to us how "manly" you are. To people saying YDI, I'd like to see how you feel when you're shot in the genetalia at close range with a paintball gun. And ladies, I know "It doesn't hurt as much" which is why they'd have to shoot you in the lovlies.

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  Impromptu_fml  |  0

I'm willing to bet that not one of the women here saying YDI has ever been shot with a paintball gun. IT HURTS. And not like a bee-sting hurt, either. I mean a 'I just got whacked with a crowbar at full swing' hurt. I've still got marks on my body from a day of paintballing several years ago, and I wasn't shot once at close range (they had a distance rule). When you take a few paintballs on your breasts at three feet, then you have every right to say he deserved it. But until then, FYL to hell, OP. FYL to hell.

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  Impromptu_fml  |  0

It was better than a text break-up and much safer than doing so in person. If you were dating a violent or psychotic guy would you want to break it off face-to-face? No, of course you wouldn't. It would be common sense to break it off from a far distance, and remain a far distance from said individual. I'm guessing that's exactly how the OP felt. He knew she was a fruit and wanted to keep himself as distance length from her. You have to taken into consideration the context of why he phone-dumped her. I disagree, however, when you say it's a low act. It's not, especially since the exact same method is used just as often, or possibly more often, by women. But like I said, context.

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  Darraghscoot  |  0

i can see why he did it over the phone! all women he did not deserve this at all what gives this women a right to come to his him and fucking assault him he is probably lucky he can still have children how wud u like it if your x came to your house and fucking really inflicted pain upon you? u wudnt like its so shut up if you think this woman has the right to break the law .

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What gave him the right to be a coward and not give her an honest break-up face to face. She may or may not have been a psycho aside from this one occasion when she felt that a break up over the phone was a "shot to the nuts" emotionally. And for the guys saying I bet a girl has never been hit with a paintball gun, yes, I have, and in some rather unpleasant and odd locations, so I know that it stings. If he opened the door, he was asking for it...that's what windows and peepholes are for...check who it is and what they have in their hand first...duh. Unless he was expecting a pizza, it's just common sense safety to check first.

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  valmont_fml  |  0

What it comes right down to is this: do you also think that if a woman (we will say, for the sake of argument, yourself) broke up with someone over the phone, would it be acceptable for him to come over to your house and shoot you in the breasts with a paintball gun? If so, then at least you are being consistent. If not, you should probably think things out more carefully.

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  RrubiksCuber  |  6

(just a disclaimer of sorts - i am a man, just to clear things up) paintballs hurt? Yes, very much. Crowbar to head? No, but i do assume that you are exagerating. To the balls? Yes, that is FML worthy. I know people say this a lot, but i think it is in order here - sue her/ get her arrested for assault. Just hope you don't need to display "evidence" to a jury.

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  13FMYLIFE  |  0

Oh, now you see what a periods almost like! Suck it up. Until any one of you guys has to deal with cramps for almost a week straight for 12 times a year stop complaining!

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  SammyS2012  |  21

I did not understand the pain getting hit in the balls caused until I playfully pounced on my boyfriend and kneed him )X He has gotta love me if he's still with me after doing the same thing over and over = While it may seem harsh that he broke up with her over the phone, a break up is going to hurt the same; and her emotional pain does not give her the right to physically hurt him (which is against the law). Let's face it girls- if it was a guy punching her for breaking up with him, everyone will be shouting, "ABUSE! It's a good thing you got out of that relationship!" Tl;dr: physical violence is wrong to both genders- forget about your double standards.

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  GeorgeBoosh  |  0

At least, that's why you don't do it by phone when you are in the same city. Next time, go on holiday, and just do it by txt message. That way you don't get the tears and crap.

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  kyliebear  |  15

What's with these ex girlfriends? I was taught that when someone breaks up with you, it's their loss and to give your used toys to the less fortunate.. If I was to be broken up with, I'd decide that he would not be the one obviously and not to get angry.

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  deadpool91  |  0

they're awesome! lol I'll date her I probably have more paintball guns. and all u people whining about getting shot get over it it's not that bad. and yes I've been shot in the nuts too

By  Velocity23  |  0

You know that shooting someone with a paintball gun has the same consequences in court as shooting someone with a real gun. If you bring this to court its jail time for her. :)

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  textasy2000  |  0

no its not...it a misdeamonr assault charge...and ydi the douche bag deserved it. Phone break up come on man...do it in person. Get the sand out of your vagina and grow a pair. she put up with you ass for two years you can atleast take her out to dinner and break up with her like a f***ing man. fyl and kudos to the paintball chica

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  krnmafia92  |  0

It'd be a crime and jail time nonetheless. You have no right to say ydi when you don't even know the damn situation. Have you ever been shot with a paintball gun at three feet? You get a fucking welt. Maybe the gf was some crazy clingy bitch that HE put up with for two years before deciding that it was the last straw. Maybe he realized that if he did it in person, she'd do some crazy shit.... which she ended up doing anyway. Fuck your mentality and kudos to any personal teachers who get broaden that narrow-minded perspective you have.

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  zaphilia  |  0

Maybe he broke up with her over the phone because he hoped to avoid a situation like that. His ex might have done something even more psychotic if he broke up with her in person, considering she's crazy enough to shoot him over a break up.

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  burned313  |  3

It may be a misdemeanor but it's considered Domestic Violence because they were together for two years. That's a serious charge that she will face some jail time for and will have follow her for the rest of her life. Source: Law Enforcement experience.

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  serenachicka  |  1

It's not an "amazing feat of manliness". It's the right thing to do. He has been going out with this girl for two years, and he couldn't tell her how he felt in person but on the phone? And the girl lives near him, so he should have done it in person.

By  KaySL  |  24

YDI for lying through your teeth; I mean, let's drop all pretence here and just admit the fact that you don't actually have a penis at all, just a very large clitoris, which incidentally you should've worn a crotch-protector over.

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