Love, Poopoo peepee, Awkward and Health: Compromising situation

Compromising situation

By anonymous - 16/07/2011 13:18 - Canada

Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper, we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset, so I politely asked where the bathroom was so I could "powder my nose;" After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 686

You deserved it 4 953

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Same thing different taste

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 339

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 687

You deserved it 1 018

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 113

You deserved it 4 851

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 503

You deserved it 2 944

By oops - 30/07/2012 00:25 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 202

You deserved it 7 113

By shithappens - 31/03/2019 14:00

Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 242

You deserved it 675

Deal breaker

By frankie - 19/01/2009 01:01 - Canada

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 3 543

Time to flee the crime scene

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 10:00

Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 824

By arse of fire :( - 23/02/2013 00:31 - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 118

You deserved it 3 881

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 381

You deserved it 4 049

Lauren10102 3

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:41

Climb out the window... NOW

FMLandurstoo 9

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:45

so you're posting the FML from the toilet?

Comments

fakengay 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 4:03

well you shouldve told him the truth maybe he would have gave u a roll FYL

pirner_fml 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 4:11

so how did you finish the final step~???^^

DKjazz 20

Sunday 17 July 2011 4:15

Sexy shower time!

holyj1 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 4:31

That's awesome!! you probably wrote this while in the shitter haha XD

Jujubilee 1

Sunday 17 July 2011 5:04

omg, that is horrible!!! I feel soooo bad for you

NameTitleHere 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 5:04

You deserve it for "Powdering" your nose.

shadowshunter 2

Sunday 17 July 2011 5:12

always check before you go it's a life lesson

Tiffelz 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 5:13

haha this reminds me of the movie 'Along came Polly'!

shadowshunter 2

Sunday 17 July 2011 5:19

lol always check it should e a lesson you learnt a LONG time ago! ;) love the happy faces :D. :P

anothersuicide 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 5:46

tell him you crave chocolate and you were having an "episode"

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 94

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 271

You deserved it 14 939

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 124

Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 911

You deserved it 4 769

Today, I tried pouring water on myself like in Coyote Ugly to the song "Pour Some Sugar On Me." I ended up waterboarding myself and I didn’t stop until the pitcher was done. I felt like I was drowning the whole time, and my partner knew from the choking sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 1 632

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 726

You deserved it 5 102

Today, I was having a garage sale and my mother-in-law came by to see what I was selling. She decided to buy these ugly green wine glasses that were still unopened. It turns out that she gave those to my wife and I when we got married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 954

You deserved it 43 438

Today, I learned that my wife had been cheating on me. What's worse? My kids found out three months before I did, and told me that they like him better than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 512

You deserved it 249