Transportation: Close shave

Close shave

By eyeamcool - 17/04/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, the police posted a description of the car of a child abductor. As everyone slowed down to read the billboard, I realized that the car's description and license plate were very similar to mine. After getting death stares from passengers, I got pulled over. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 552

You deserved it 2 708

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Same thing different taste

By Amara1717 - 19/08/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 108

You deserved it 3 505

By anoymus - 31/05/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 943

You deserved it 3 272

By Anonymous - 03/11/2009 04:33 - Canada

Today, the police came to my door and told me about a woman who called the cops on me because she said that I had been following her in my car. We were on the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 115

You deserved it 2 023

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 01:32 - United States

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 386

You deserved it 4 382

By PulledOver - 01/06/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 971

You deserved it 54 809

Busted

By bustedfornuthin - 08/09/2010 04:42 - United States

Today, I was arrested by the police for sitting in what they thought was a stolen vehicle. After being slammed into the back of a squad car at gunpoint, they realized the car was actually recovered a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 895

You deserved it 2 496

By Anonymous - 12/09/2012 07:00 - United States - Valencia

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 567

You deserved it 4 553

By TheIrony - 19/07/2016 21:50 - United States

Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 169

You deserved it 3 535

By pampa31 - 14/12/2015 17:21 - Mexico - Tijuana

Today, while I was driving, there was a high speed car chase. The runaway managed to avoid my car but the police didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 762

You deserved it 1 697

By ashleighsheba - 27/09/2016 16:43 - United States - La Vergne

Today, I got pulled over, not because I was speeding but because apparently, I looked like a kid driving. The officer said I was too short to drive and needed a booster seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 213

You deserved it 1 160

AWESOM_E 0

Friday 17 April 2009 12:06

Passengers? What passengers? Oh, you mean the children you were abducting...

mudkipsan 19

Friday 17 April 2009 13:18

One day, #8 will learn when to end a joke, and #9 will learn how to spot one.

Comments

AWESOM_E 0

Friday 17 April 2009 12:06

Passengers? What passengers? Oh, you mean the children you were abducting...

rawrlily 0

Sunday 27 June 2010 15:21

lol

JBiz_fml 0

Friday 17 April 2009 12:06

That sucks :(

Indiana_fml 4

Friday 17 April 2009 12:20

Haha, that must have been creepy for all of you. Wouldn't know how I would feel if I were convinced of having a child abductor right next to me.

1Tsk 0

Friday 17 April 2009 12:43

well you shouldn't have abused those children then

ddlovatolover 23

Thursday 2 October 2014 4:06

The FML says child abductor, not child abuser.

imadonkeymoo 0

Friday 17 April 2009 13:10

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

boer 0

Friday 17 April 2009 13:17

can't you guys read? It says SIMILAR, not that he is the one.

lolfood 24

Saturday 10 May 2014 17:47

REEEEAAAAALLLLLYYYYY?!?!?

mudkipsan 19

Friday 17 April 2009 13:18

One day, #8 will learn when to end a joke, and #9 will learn how to spot one.

ZombieKnickers_fml 8

Friday 17 April 2009 13:23

And one day #10 will get an award for that comment.

tigerlover39 9

Wednesday 6 March 2013 22:46

True

deathhill3 40

Wednesday 20 March 2013 14:25

He has one, sort of. He is currently one of the top comments.

PonTiFeX 0

Friday 17 April 2009 13:25

...Well... Did ya do it?

Eresbel 0

Friday 17 April 2009 13:35

lol to #10 and #11.

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Cute Kids Money Birthday Weird Awkward Love Health Relatable Abuse Scams Social Media School Education Parents Teenagers Anger issues Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 452

You deserved it 3 567

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 837

You deserved it 30 760

The Top

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 954

You deserved it 3 070

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and left me crying in the street. I then got a text from my mom saying how pathetic my love life was. Apparently, it was a mass text message and she accidentally added me to the list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 332

You deserved it 3 228

Today, while at work, I had to poop. While wiping, I somehow managed to get the back tail of my shirt in between my butthole and the toilet paper, effectively wiping my ass with my white dress shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 285

Today, right after I finished writing a very important paper and saved it to my hard drive, my barely 2-year-old Macbook decided to completely stop functioning. I went to the Apple store and even they can't get it to turn on. That's $1500 down the drain along with my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 806

You deserved it 470

Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 441

You deserved it 931

Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 060

You deserved it 24 523

Close shave

Same thing different taste

Busted

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