Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I finally found my watch after weeks searching for it. It was on my teacher's wrist. FML

#21416691
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21810) - you deserved it (1408)

On 05/27/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by concom - Cyprus

Pstraka6's comment : Make sure it's the exact same watch first before making an accusation and then report the jerk!

See all the comments →

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

#21416617
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29186) - you deserved it (2456)

On 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm - work - by UN4 (man) - United States

TomeDr's comment : Next time, don't warn them, just report it.

See all the comments →

Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML

#21416582
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23728) - you deserved it (1997)

On 05/27/2015 at 10:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico

Today, my dad stood by and nodded in agreement as my sister told me that my clinical depression is "getting REALLY old." FML

#21416569
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23246) - you deserved it (2650)

On 05/27/2015 at 9:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

LittleBlackbird's comment : Their ignorance is getting REALLY old too.

See all the comments →

Today, I had to write my own notice for enforced redundancy because my boss just went on a two week vacation. He told me to just forge his signature and that, if I wouldn't do it, he'd just make something up to dismiss me on codes of conduct. FML

Today, I had a call to the rodent rescue I run. They wanted to know if we had any mice for adoption and how much they cost. I told them that we had over 30 mice, and that we don't charge but do take donations. They said, "That's fantastic! I've been struggling to find snake food that isn't frozen!" FML

Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

Today, I found out my dog's new favorite game to play: "If you don't stop petting me, I'll bite your balls as hard as I can." FML

Today, it's been exactly 2 years since I graduated college. I make less money in my full-time job now than I did working part-time in college. FML

#21416055
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27302) - you deserved it (2445)

On 05/26/2015 at 12:50pm - money - by Real Life Sucks - United States

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML

#21416031
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25432) - you deserved it (2625)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:40am - intimacy - by shitty shit - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML

#21416018
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23251) - you deserved it (2217)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:12am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML

Today, I lost a book. I'd used my credit card as a bookmark. FML

#21415900
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12608) - you deserved it (39926)

On 05/26/2015 at 2:54am - money - by stupid (man) - United States (California)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: