Today, I had a conversation with the cute girl I like at work for the first time. I told her I worked in the camping department of the store, and we had a long chat about how she heard that the guy who runs that department is a complete dick head. I am the guy who runs that department. FML
by Smitty Werbenjeagermanjensen / 10/26/2016 at 11:19pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Baustigt's comment : It's interesting that you describe it being a long conversation. How long did you participate in slagging yourself off? Girl: "So I heard that he's a total dickhead." OP: "Oh, he's a complete knob. A total bellend. Just an utter fucking yankee doodle ding-dong."
Today, I was informed I wouldn't be getting a raise because I hadn't followed the updated protocol. I said I was unaware that there was an updated protocol. My supervisor said, "That's because we didn't tell you about it." FML
nreed32's comment : This is why Human Resources departments are necessary.
Dilexar's comment : a fifteen week long migraine? please tell me you've seen a professional, cause that sounds like something definitely isn't right
Today, I finally realized why my 9-week-old puppy was going to the bathroom so much. I went to pick up the food bag and realized she had chewed a hole in the bottom, and eaten half of the bag in the last 4 days. Goodbye 30 pounds of dog food, and 100$ for a vet visit. FML
by ItchyGirl / 10/09/2016 at 8:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by HeadStillHurts / 10/26/2016 at 7:43am / Miscellaneous
Today, it’s my girlfriend’s birthday, so I ordered a cake at the bakery and asked the baker to write “Happy birthday Marie!” in italic, because I think it’s prettier. When I opened the box, I saw “HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIE IN ITALY!” FML
by daidax_238 / 10/25/2016 at 12:33pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I explained to my boss what clickbait is and why it's bad practice to use it when writing online. After my explanation, she ordered me to go ahead with it, saying it's "exactly what we need". This person is the marketing communications director for a major multinational company. FML