Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my mom called and casually let me know she'd wrecked my iPad after putting in the dryer with my bed sheets. FML

#21284691
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9341) - you deserved it (1062)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

#21284688
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8814) - you deserved it (973)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML

#21284649
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11977) - you deserved it (1687)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband told me he cheated on me two years ago with his ex-fiancée. In the process, he got her pregnant, but said it was okay, because she didn't keep it. FML

#21284646
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13754) - you deserved it (856)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

#21284616
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14738) - you deserved it (1106)

On 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after my first day at work at a local daycare, I found out that I'm not entitled to breaks because I'm the only worker there who doesn't smoke. My boss asked me, ''What do you need a break for?'' FML

#21284495
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23603) - you deserved it (1656)

On 10/24/2014 at 4:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

iAmPaul's comment : Report him. You're just as entitled to a break as everyone else.

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Today, I'm horribly out of shape. My arms are sore, almost like I'd been doing heavy lifting yesterday. Nope. It just was from squeezing cupcake icing out of a tube. FML

Today, someone stole my coat. I can only imagine their surprise when they find the $3,000 engagement ring I bought earlier. FML

#21284412
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26369) - you deserved it (2008)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

DoctorsDaughter's comment : Oh man, I hope you got insurance on the ring. That certainly sucks.

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Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25756) - you deserved it (1997)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

milky2321's comment : life of a baby face.

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Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (6767)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I got approached by a lady while eating at a fast-food restaurant who asked if I could spare five dollars. Confidently, I pulled out my wallet to show her that I had no cash, only to reveal a perfectly crisp five dollar bill that I had completely forgotten about. FML

#21284180
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22046) - you deserved it (10542)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:02am - money - by Yeah (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

#21284031
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23486) - you deserved it (3914)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was the weird girl on the city bus who falls asleep then makes a loud, weird noise and wakes herself up. FML

#21284017
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22407) - you deserved it (2967)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by pyrogypsy (woman) - United States (Washington)



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