colton646746

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Colton646746's favorite FMLs

By Alec - 15/06/2011 09:02 - United States

Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML

agreeclassic 18 021

vote type 1 38 225

By Bawsack - 23/02/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I received a call from my boss telling me that I have to get back to work or get a doctor's note, or I risk a disciplinary. I'm only sick because it's my job to look after kids. One had a chest infection and is incapable of covering is mouth when he coughs. FML

agreeclassic 5 769

vote type 1 660

By JamesFuckingBond - 23/12/2016 21:05 - United States - Burlington

Today, I dropped my wedding ring on the carpet. Just as I was about to pick it up, my Roomba sucked it up. FML

agreeclassic 7 754

vote type 1 1 750

By Ouch - 21/10/2009 21:55 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born in the film, I put my arm around my girlfriend and whispered in her ear that one day it could be us having a baby. She responded by punching me in the happy sacks and telling me I wasn't getting any from her in a long time. FML

agreeclassic 13 126

vote type 1 32 450

React content

By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

agreeclassic 96 993

vote type 1 252 089