Mr 32 years-old
Aujourd'hui, ma fille fait ses exercices sur les figures de styles. À voix haute, elle cherche un pléonasme. Je lui dis pour plaisanter : "Ma magnifique maman." Du tac au tac elle me répond : "Non maman, ça c'est un oxymore." VDM
Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML
Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML
Today, as I came home from school, I saw a little rock in the road. I kicked it, intending to send it sailing into the bushes in front of my house. It went wide and sailed straight into a window instead. FML
Today, I logged into my bank account and started crying. Not because of the balance, but because the password is my anniversary with my ex, and it's the only reminder I have of happy days in my life. FML
Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML
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