Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML
Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
