thedarklordsatan

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Thedarklordsatan's favorite FMLs

By offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

agreeclassic 267 597

vote type 1 90 937

By ColdStones - 20/10/2014 08:50 - Norway - Bergen

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said, "It's nothing personal." FML

agreeclassic 41 360

vote type 1 3 473

By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 20:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

agreeclassic 35 504

vote type 1 5 793

You never know

By lolwut - 11/09/2014 06:33 - United States - Albany

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

agreeclassic 48 657

vote type 1 18 503

By drayloon - 27/08/2014 07:07 - United States - Antioch

Today, I tried to contact my college's financial aid office. After listening to the same damn "Our counselors are busy" message for over an hour, someone picked up the phone and hung up immediately. FML

agreeclassic 43 730

vote type 1 3 203

drayloon app_comment_confession_title

drayloon 50

Wednesday 27 August 2014 23:21

Good to know I'm not the only one the system bends over and goes to town on. But as far as driving out there to speak to them in person goes, it's about a 9 hour drive assuming there isn't too much traffic, which there usually is, so that's not a particularly viable option