96wordtoyourmom

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scranton, usa
29 years-old
Monday 24 June 1996
single

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96wordtoyourmom's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, I got a haircut for the first time in almost a year. I thought it looked really nice and made me look good. On my way to CVS, I ran into one of my friends. He examined me and said, "You look... like a crack whore." FML

agreeclassic 47 534

vote type 1 5 547

By Anonymous - 27/06/2012 20:02 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML

agreeclassic 30 916

vote type 1 5 349

By scaredshitless - 03/03/2012 13:55 - Finland

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

agreeclassic 35 214

vote type 1 10 746

By lions214 - 11/01/2012 01:40 - United States

Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML

agreeclassic 30 413

vote type 1 2 938

Bananarama

By wtfisthisworldcomingto - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

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vote type 1 7 510