Mr Columbia, USA 32 years-old Single
Today, my ex-girlfriend told me that she can't live without me, but she has another boyfriend. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend two tickets to a Broadway show that was coming through town she really wanted to see. I couldn't attend with her due to work so she said she would take her mom. I found out later she took her ex. Now they're back together, and I paid for the date that made it happen. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend that she was tanning naked. I replied saying I wished I was there to make tanning more fun. She replied saying that its ok because Kevin was there. My girlfriend was tanning naked with another guy over. FML
Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML
Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML
Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet, and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML
Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML
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