Sacramento, USA 34 years-old
Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my fridge. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
