Failmonkeymeow_fml

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Failmonkeymeow_fml's favorite FMLs

John Coltrane

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML

agreeclassic 75 144

vote type 1 22 223

By Anonymous - 18/07/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

agreeclassic 43 165

vote type 1 3 741

By Anonymous - 30/06/2011 07:24 - Finland

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

agreeclassic 58 211

vote type 1 5 246

By Rachel - 10/06/2011 09:57 - United States

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

agreeclassic 36 980

vote type 1 13 499

Nature is healing

By squirrels69ing - 22/05/2011 01:00 - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

agreeclassic 48 053

vote type 1 6 292