Buuee

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Wednesday 07 May 1997

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Meow

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lovers5201

LaLaVae

BeastGiann...

yamuri

LaLaVae

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Classic Mom

secret - - United States - Ashford

Today, I got a text from my mom shaming me for forgetting my sister's birthday. It isn't her birthday today, it's mine. FML

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TheKingKen - 13/02/2015 08:40 - Australia - Perth

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

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TheKingKen

TheKingKen 22

Friday 13 February 2015 17:24

Ha! OP is so dumb. His tiny brain can't even function properly :D But just to clarify some things, English is my second language. We rarely speak English at home. In my native language, saying "I'm pregnant" and "I'm full" (because I already ate at the time) sounds similar enough for me to confuse the two phrases if I don't pay enough attention :D

you ripped them off ages ago - 17/08/2014 06:15 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

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TaddM21 - 02/01/2015 03:18 - United States - Salem

Today, I dragged my grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak for New Year's day. I left my spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrapped steak on the grill. I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough for my cat to open the wrapper and run off with my steak in his jaws. FML

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Sarah1330 - 25/02/2015 04:33 - United States

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

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