The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Anonymous · 27 January 2025, 20:00 ·Warrington, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

You've pulled

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some fun at around 3:00 am and during our fun I flipped her over quite roughly and, as she landed on the bed, I'd accidentally dislocated her shoulder. For the next 2 hours we didn’t know whether to call an ambulance or her sister, so we had to put it back in place ourselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206 You deserved it 422

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Anonymous · 24 February 2023, 00:00

Dumbass move

Today, I stupidly liked a post on my ex's social media account from three years ago. They then texted me immediately to ask why I was stalking them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206 You deserved it 1 046

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Anonymous · 25 July 2025, 03:00 ·Reno, United States

Chemistry

Today, I matched with a cute girl on a dating app and messaged her something flirty: “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.” She replied, “That’s my cousin’s joke. He used it in his wedding vows last year. Small world, huh?" Of all the matches to make, I had to match a distant relative… FML

I agree, your life sucks 206 You deserved it 445

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whyisitneverenough · 26 August 2023, 08:00

We don't need no education

Today, after years of toil and stress, and months of agony and torture, I have received my iGCSE exam results. I passed them all but because I'm a perfectionist and didn't get the highest grades, I feel like crap. Now I'm thinking about how I'll have to go through it all again for A levels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206 You deserved it 816

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Anonymous · 30 June 2024, 22:00 ·Melbourne, Australia

Ban Zoom meetings

Today, I joined a Zoom call late and accidentally unmuted myself while yelling at my kids to stop fighting. I didn't realize I was unmuted until I saw my manager's horrified face and the rest of the team trying not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206 You deserved it 530

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Anonymous · 13 December 2022, 21:00 ·Brunswick, Australia

Woof woof

Today, I accidentally followed and inboxed my crush from my dog’s Instagram account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206 You deserved it 1 009

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Anonymous · 19 October 2026, 09:00 ·Dallas, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Bad guy, duh

Today, my wife forgot our anniversary, yet I'm somehow the bad guy because I refused to have makeup sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206 You deserved it 87

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Anonymous · 7 March 2026, 20:00

Step-dad no more

Today, my wife of 9 years told me she wants a divorce all because I refuse to legally adopt her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206 You deserved it 542

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Anonymous · 24 January 2024, 20:00 ·Staten Island, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Very posh

Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206 You deserved it 440

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Coco · 23 October 2022, 10:00

Scarred for life

Today, my son confessed to me that the reason he'd rather die single is because my husband and I are so toxic to each other, as we end up arguing over even petty things, yet we still refuse to divorce after 30 years. Therefore, we're to blame for "leaving him traumatized and terrified of marrying". He is 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206 You deserved it 2 220

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Matt · 13 April 2024, 16:00 ·United States

Pissed

Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 You deserved it 570

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Anonymous · 26 May 2024, 12:00 ·Verona, United States

Indeed…

Today, I realized that I'm head over heels in love with my coworker. She's funny, caring, sweet, and the best person I've ever met. We're also both married. I dream about her every night, and the stress of not being able to tell her has overtaken my PTSD, making it impossible to sleep and barely function. Fuck Love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 You deserved it 673

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sick of this · 2 April 2024, 06:00 ·United States

Tired

Today, I’m tired of women taking drastic measures to avoid me, even though I’ve done nothing wrong. Recently, I was talking to an old classmate from high school and she faked deleting her profile to avoid following up with our talk about plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 You deserved it 519

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Chris T · 21 March 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Chill out, Gramps

Today, I found out that my girlfriend’s friends secretly make fun of me. They call me “grandpa” and a “massive creep.” They’re in their 20s. My girlfriend is 22 and I’m 48. Apparently, dating a consenting legal adult is considered “creepy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 You deserved it 2 171

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Anonymous · 4 February 2025, 03:00 ·Stevenson, United States

Controlling

Today, my mom took my phone away because of a huge mistake I made, which we need to go to court for. I own the actual phone but they pay for the line. I'm autistic with severe anxiety. I'm also 34 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 You deserved it 677

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Anonymous · 26 June 2022, 14:00

Heated gaming moment

Today, my friend beat me at a video game. He got smug, so I made an "I fucked your mom" style joke. Yeah, kina forgot for a minute that his mom died last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 You deserved it 1 306

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Anonymous · 3 July 2025, 09:00 ·Tel Aviv, Israel

Thanks for coming to my Nerd Talk

Today, I proudly added a new test to our repository to improve code quality. The test ran as part of the pull request checks… and failed. Now I can’t merge my own pull requests because my own test says I suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 You deserved it 259

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Newny_Newny_Newny · 5 October 2025, 00:00

Rushing waddle

Today, I was taking a number two at work and forgot to lock the door. One of the nurses opened the door, but the worst part is that she didn’t close it back all the way and I couldn’t reach it to close it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 You deserved it 304

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Jeremy · 19 October 2023, 14:00 ·Australia

The bookmaker always wins

Today, I set aside some time to take a power nap at my desk. I set an alarm, but it didn't go off. I woke up hours later to find my coworkers had surrounded my desk, taking bets on when I'd wake up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 You deserved it 769

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Anonymous · 11 May 2024, 12:00 ·United States

Nag nag nag

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation, to find my fiance had cleaned the house top to bottom, and finished three projects he was constantly putting off. I was over the moon, until he said, "Yeah, when you're not nagging me all day, I can actually get shit done. Crazy, huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 You deserved it 866

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Jillian · 11 August 2024, 22:00 ·Sunderland, United Kingdom

We've almost all been there

Today, I was walking down the street when I saw someone I thought I knew. I waved enthusiastically and shouted, "Hey!" The person stared blankly at me, so I quickly turned it into a wave at someone else behind them. There was no one behind them. I was just waving and yelling into the void like an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 You deserved it 362

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dtmm · 18 January 2023, 10:00

Forgetful

Today, I was listening to music on my Bluetooth wireless headphones, when I put them around my neck to do something. Later, I put them back on to continue listening to my music. Even later on, I was looking for them and couldn't find them. I thought I had lost them, but then realized they were still on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 You deserved it 785

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ToxicFamily · 5 April 2025, 22:00 ·Germany

Holidays in the sun

Today, all I wanted was to go on a vacation in April. I've been asking my husband since last April and he begrudgingly booked everything last minute a month before. Now he's cancelled everything he booked due to his dad being sick. I was OK with it, but now I've got no vacations for this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 You deserved it 377

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Anonymous · 29 October 2026, 03:00 ·Port Washington, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Hard pass on the birthday celebrations

Today, after I asked a girl out on her birthday and she said yes, I went to her place early in the next morning to give her her favorite bagels. I went to her room to surprise her after her roommate let me in, only to see her blowing some dude's candle, if you know what I mean. I don't thing I'll be taking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 You deserved it 88

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Kevin · 6 January 2025, 22:00 ·United States

The price is right

Today, I wore my new shoes to work, feeling confident. Halfway through the day, I found out that I'd forgotten to remove a giant price sticker on the left sole. My boss pointed it out during a meeting, as I crossed my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 You deserved it 349

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Anonymous · 20 October 2026, 20:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Getting on a bit

Today, because of alopecia, I'm bald with no beard, but during sex my wife said that I’m finally showing my age. When I asked what she was on about, she yanked a hair out of my ballsack and said, “Look, your first grey hair!” She thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 You deserved it 55

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Sold my soul for 5000 · 26 August 2025, 09:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

The body keeps the score

Today, a guy offered me five grand for a video call. As an OnlyFans model, I jumped at the chance. He wanted me to list off everything I regretted or disliked about my life while masturbating. Fifteen minutes later, I had the worst panic attack I've ever had. Six hours later and I'm still shaking and sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 You deserved it 637

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Anonymous · 23 July 2025, 09:00 ·Lisbon, Portugal

Not even once

Today, I got addicted to online slots, racked up nearly €30,000 in debt, and completely ruined my financial future. It’s been almost a year since I stopped gambling, but the shame and the debt are still crushing me. I’m trying to get back on my feet and even created a fundraiser just to breathe a bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 You deserved it 632

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Dumbass · 19 November 2022, 06:00

Soaking

Today, I went to change my socks after I stepped in a puddle of water. As I walked out of my bedroom with a fresh pair of socks, I stepped in the puddle again. Three times. That's four pairs of socks ruined. God, I'm such a dumbass sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 You deserved it 1 174

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Anonymous · 28 June 2024, 09:00

Guess who?

Today, after I fired a guy two weeks ago for being a lazy ass, I'd put his job out for applicants to apply, I was going to have the interviews. My assistant informed me only one person applied. It was him, applying to get his job back. I had to rehire him because the position needed filling today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 You deserved it 574

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