Today, I matched with a cute girl on a dating app and messaged her something flirty: “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.” She replied, “That’s my cousin’s joke. He used it in his wedding vows last year. Small world, huh?" Of all the matches to make, I had to match a distant relative… FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today I went on a date with my long time crush only to find out that we are distant cousins. FML
Today, I was hitting it off pretty well with a girl I met through a dating app. However, she's never going to speak to me again because I also happened to "match" with her friend. How was I supposed to know they knew each other? FML
Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML
Today, I received a new like on a dating site… from my extremely creepy second cousin. FML
Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML
Today, I had another dinner with the girl that I started dating a few weeks ago. During dinner, we talked about our families. We realized that we're actually cousins. FML
Today, I got a mass message on WhatsApp from my extended family about my cousin’s engagement. Trying to be funny, I replied, “Wow, can’t wait to see how long this one lasts.” I thought I was sending it to my brother. Only my brother. I sent it to the whole family group. Including my cousin. And her fiancé. FML
Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML
Today, I joined a dating website for the first time in 12 years and spent an hour carefully crafting my profile. Ten minutes after posting, my sibling texted me screenshots. I’d linked my profile to Facebook, where my bio appeared under my real name for half my extended family. Aunt Linda left a heart reaction. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML
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Top comments
core01 30
Sir, you are maaried!
KittyKatGirl 15
Or was at the same wedding and 'stole' the flrt. not that that paticular flirt is not a common one already
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Comments (5)
core01 30
Sir, you are maaried!
KittyKatGirl 15
Or was at the same wedding and 'stole' the flrt. not that that paticular flirt is not a common one already
TomeDr 25
Hope she tells EVERYONE! Scumbag!
poopface82 25
I assume scientists tend to use the same jokes.
Chazzster 32
“If you go to a family reunion looking to meet girls, you may be a redneck.” Another famous comic line… Yes, I get that you didn’t actually do that, but… Frankly I think pick up lines are lame - Be yourself and just talk to the person instead of putting on a performance. Had you done that, she’d still be distantly related, but it’d be less embarrassing the way she found out… It’s a small town problem - There are only so many people you meet and a significant portion of them are distantly related. Frankly anything more distant than first cousin isn’t a big deal.
BurnInDemonFire 39
At least we know what happened to Leonard after The Big Bang Theory ended.