The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Sad and hungry · 22 January 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Hangry

Today, my parents were out and about, leaving me alone in the house. They said they would leave some lunch for me. I couldn't find it. After telling them when they got home, my mom got huffy and showed me that it was in a place I would have never thought to look. She then got even more mad when I was annoyed by this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193 You deserved it 495

6 comments Share

I married a child · 20 December 2025, 03:00

Gamer boy

Today, I watched my 35 year-old husband start up a new video game. He named his character "Boner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 193 You deserved it 352

4 comments Share

Anonymous · 28 February 2026, 20:00

It's called fashion

Today, I flew some 1,800km cross country for a work conference. The trip involved an Uber, two trains, the flight, a bus, and the conference itself. My shirt was inside out the whole time, and not one soul mentioned it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193 You deserved it 256

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 4 April 2026, 22:00

Mommy issues

Today, both of my daughters were having an argument because my youngest has decided that she doesn't want kids. I defended her decision and my oldest daughter told me to STFU and called me a hypocrite. I slapped her across the face for her disrespect and now she's threatening to press charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193 You deserved it 736

5 comments Share

Anonymous · 29 January 2025, 12:00 ·Lerwick, United Kingdom

Seven against one

Today, I am living a nightmare. My mother is now friends with my wife and my mother-in-law, plus my sister is now friends with my wife’s sisters. All that needs to happen now is they all get together in the same room and my life will be over; it will be a 7 on 1 massacre, and I’ll be the 1. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193 You deserved it 488

2 comments Share

Wtmcisdis · 10 August 2024, 22:00 ·Douglasville, United States

What did you do?

Today, my mom had me arrested in the most humiliating way ever, in my nightgown, with no bra. She pushed me out her vagina, and now her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192 You deserved it 426

4 comments Share

Anonymous · 5 June 2025, 00:00 ·Singapore, Singapore

Loitering

Today, I forgot my keys when going out. Now I have to wait at the door for my family, standing in the cold for half an hour. My phone is dying, and neighbors keep giving me pitying looks. It's so awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192 You deserved it 338

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 5 February 2024, 15:00 ·Field, Canada

What happens on vacation stays on vacation

Today, I got back from a fun vacation I took with my husband. During the vacation, I participated in a wet t-shirt contest and a bunch of pictures of me flashing my breasts and waving my t shirt over my head during the contest got posted online. My whole office is teasing me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192 You deserved it 1 123

5 comments Share

Kate is late · 16 April 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Make it stop

Today, I went to a friend's house and was so excited to try her fancy bathroom with a “smart toilet.” The toilet had a “sensitive” bidet feature, and when I tried to stand up, it somehow thought I was still sitting and started spraying repeatedly. I just froze while standing, as it repeatedly splashed water on my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192 You deserved it 310

2 comments Share

Anon · 13 November 2023, 00:02 ·United States

That's a thing

Today, my friend thought it'd be a great idea to drag me a new fitness trend - goat yoga. Mid-session, the goat had a nibble on my hair, and I ended up having to do a downward dog while trying to dodge a very friendly but mischievous farm animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192 You deserved it 366

3 comments Share

Anonymous · 13 April 2022, 02:00 ·Mesa, United States

ADHD FML

Today, I asked my group via Discord if we had a meeting with the professor we're working with on a project. I got to chatting with someone else regarding the class we had just gotten out of, and forget to check the Discord until hours later, realizing one of my group mates had said yes, and that I had missed it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192 You deserved it 1 318

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 15 February 2025, 15:00 ·Gainesville, United States

Sacrifice

Today, it's Valentine’s Day and the woman for whom I gave up my traveling $100,000 day job, and two luxurious vehicles for a trailer and a dog, now says she doesn’t want to get married because I have to work a POS job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192 You deserved it 665

1 comment Share

Bullshit! · 9 October 2026, 22:00 ·Romania 🌶️ Spicy

Can't get no satisfaction

Today, when my wife is ovulating, she is wild, horny, and nearly insatiable. So of course for the last four months, our work schedules have overlapped to give us absolutely no free time together during that magical week. I just got my next few weeks of schedule… and make that five months! FML

I agree, your life sucks 192 You deserved it 62

1 comment Share

Claire · 31 December 2024, 00:00 ·United States

That one move that impresses all the guys

Today, I spotted a guy I like slyly checking me out, so I did what I thought would be a dramatic but nonchalant hair flip. Instead, my hair got caught in the strap of my bag, and I ended up yanking myself backwards like a clumsy stuntman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192 You deserved it 493

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 19 January 2024, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

It's a sign

Today, while talking with my sister about why she and her husband never want kids, my own kids kicked a football into the kitchen cabinet, breaking the very bottom shelf, and tipping every plate, dish, and bowl to smash on the floor. My sister just gave me that look, the look that says, “Duh!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 706

5 comments Share

Anonymous · 9 September 2024, 16:00 ·Australia

Long day

Today, I got home after a rough day and was really looking forward to some cuddles from my cat. I opened the door and she came running toward me, which was unusual, so I knelt down to embrace her. She ran right past me to get to the tuna sandwich I'd unwittingly dropped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 345

1 comment Share

unemployedagain · 26 March 2023, 04:00 ·Arlington, United States

So brave

Today, I was offered the job of my dreams until the recruiters had gone through my Twitter account and had seen tweets of me calling another girl a “bitch” and a racial slur during an argument. They rescinded the offer and I’d already quit my last job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 2 334

10 comments Share

Awkward is my name · 9 July 2023, 12:00

Garden party

Today, at a philanthropic event in some old money rich family's garden, I told my daughter she'd have to improve her table manners if she wanted to marry a nice man like that. I looked up and our host was standing right there, looking sternly in our direction. I smiled but he didn't smile back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 1 070

5 comments Share

Anonymous · 6 May 2024, 20:00 ·United States

Classic case of the Mondays

Today, I took the bus after work. When I got to the remote parking lot, I realized my car had been stolen so I called the police to report it. When they came to take a statement and asked me when was the last time I saw my car was, I replied, “This morning, when I drove it to wo… Oh.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 631

2 comments Share

Singlemamma · 5 February 2026, 00:00

Harsh but fair

Today, I lashed out at the father of my son for not doing anything for the baby. He replied, “I never did shit for you to begin with, didn’t you watch the preview? You knew what you were getting yourself into.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 642

4 comments Share

Anonymous · 21 August 2023, 04:00

Grow up, the pair of you!

Today, my brother and I ruined our mother's birthday by fighting. She's 76, we're 55 and 54 and yet still unable to comport ourselves like adults. She yelled at us and then "showed me" by eating the dish he made but not mine. I reverted to teenage coping tactics, dissociating like a boss, and hiding in my room. Worst family visit ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 1 059

5 comments Share

Richardson · 31 January 2024, 20:00 ·Beesd, Netherlands

Yes, probably?

Today, I have been working a childhood dream job, getting paid more than a doctor gets paid, to just sit around, smoke weed, and play video games. From sitting down for so long I have a tailbone infection and I bleed all day from it. I've gained over 40kg, I've lost all social contacts. Is it worth it for 15k a month? FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 902

9 comments Share

Anonymous · 1 March 2022, 03:59 ·Morganville, United States

Bigmouth strikes again

Today, I thought the cashier said the new blouse I picked out was ugly as she was ringing me up. I'm really self-conscious about my fashion sense, so I snapped and started yelling at her. It wasn't until she was close to tears did I find out she said "lovely" not "ugly". So, that's another store I can't go back to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 3 042

10 comments Share

Evaluna · 22 May 2026, 00:00 ·Charlotte, United States

Nice guy

Today, I learned that asking your Hinge date, “How tall do you wish you were?” lands you in the ER and will have you looking like Sloth from the Goonies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 333

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 5 April 2024, 00:00 ·Rock Springs, United States

Am I a good person?

Today, I have found that I have feelings for my best friend's wife. She is beautiful, caring, and downright a good wife. She does have issues, like mental issues, but she talks to me and she comes to me for comfort. I have thought it would be nice to just hold her hand even. Am I a jerk or not? I want her bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 1 002

6 comments Share

xXCharlieXx · 3 June 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Homeowners war

Today, my neighborhood Facebook group was arguing about whether leaf blowers should be banned. Thinking I was posting in a private chat, I wrote, “Imagine making leaf blowers your entire personality.” I accidentally posted it publicly. Two neighbors haven't spoken to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 377

3 comments Share

Anonymous · 26 September 2024, 14:00 ·United States

Introverts can relate

Today, all that I wanted for my birthday was for someone else to pick out a cake flavor, and to spend the day alone. I've been asked ten times what kind of cake I want, and my husband took a off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 457

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 3 November 2024, 09:00 ·Glasgow, United Kingdom

Podcasters need to be stopped

Today, I was listening to a true-crime podcast while taking a shower. Right as the narrator said, “And then he heard a loud bang,” my shampoo bottle fell off the ledge with a loud thud. I screamed so loudly, I apparently scared my neighbours, who banged on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 352

0 comment Share

737 · 21 May 2025, 03:00 ·China

Rules is rules

Today, our teacher forgot to collect our phones when we arrived at school. We almost managed to take our phones back to the dormitory but someone's phone rang TWICE in the corridor and she remembered the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 388

1 comment Share

GregIsGreg · 10 September 2024, 14:00 ·United States

Vent away

Today, I was getting into a Uber after a long day at work. I opened the door, sat down, and started venting to the driver about my horrible day. Five minutes in, I realized I had climbed into a random stranger’s car. He didn’t even tell me; he just let me complain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 526

1 comment Share