Today, we got a new kitchen but in my wife’s brain it’s so perfect that she doesn’t want it ruined by anything, so no one is allowed to use it. it’s been installed for 4 days, we haven’t cooked anything, used the sink, fridge empty. I can’t even put anything on the counter in case it scratches. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad had a day off and was 'bored' so he decided to move our entire kitchen into our living room. We now have no running water, no oven that works and the entire house is a bombsite. He has an entire week off. FML
Today, my mom has two workbenches in her basement. They are so cluttered, they have all but disappeared. Now that she’s actually building something, she just uses the chest freezer as a workbench. I’m hungry and my dinner is in there. FML
Today, thanks to my wife’s obsession with expensive foods like chutney, relishes, exotic spices, and preserved foreign vegetables and herbs, I'm literally staring into a fridge full of glass jars, with a door that barely stays closed, and yet has nothing inside suitable to eat for my dinner. FML
Today, my wife gave me my Christmas gift, a novelty kitchen sponge, then suggested I try it out on the sink full of dishes. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML
Today, we're in the middle of remodeling our bathroom and the hallway of our apartment. We hired a great guy and he does a really good job, but there's a lot of dust and no way to clean properly until everything is done. My wife is pissed with me because I work from home and don't clean everything every day. FML
Today, after 5 months in his new apartment, the only kitchenware my boyfriend has unpacked is one single butter knife. He will not unpack the rest, or let me do it for him, so if I want to so much as eat a yoghurt or stir my coffee, I have to bring my own spoon. FML
Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML
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Top comments
TomeDr 25
I get where she’s coming from. Once in use, it’ll never be as clean as it is now! But four days is a bit much.
Wadlaen 24
Then it sounds like you haven't actually got a new kitchen but a monument of some sort. Kitchens are supposed to be used for making and eating food, and they're supposed to occasionally get food stains on the floor and walls that needs to be washed. You should try to talk some sense into your wife and her crazy brain.
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Comments (6)
Wadlaen 24
Then it sounds like you haven't actually got a new kitchen but a monument of some sort. Kitchens are supposed to be used for making and eating food, and they're supposed to occasionally get food stains on the floor and walls that needs to be washed. You should try to talk some sense into your wife and her crazy brain.
TomeDr 25
I get where she’s coming from. Once in use, it’ll never be as clean as it is now! But four days is a bit much.
Yudith 28
When a layer of dust starts to form on the counters and kitchen sink, you can start using the kitchen. Wait until your wife is out of the place and start dusting, as in depositing dust on the surfaces.
FluffythePink 23
Women LOVE the shiny things. Especially when they're brand spanking new Shiny that we've been dreaming of for a while. It will wear off and she'll calm down about it. It's like men admiring the car they've been dreaming of and finally acquired. That first chip in the paint work is always heartbreaking... Just let her enjoy it and make damn sure you aren't the first person to scratch anything.
d j mom 9
we just got a shiny new stainless steel kitchen set and I couldn't bring myself to use the gorgeous range for about 4 days. then I cooked. I have been cleaning it a lot more than the old white (ick) one. I did put the food in the fridge immediately though cuz...... food. she'll get over it soon enough.
BurnInDemonFire 39
New kitchen but same old doormat, apparently.