Don't threaten me with a good time
Today, I received a package in the mail from a guy, with no warning. He then blocked me. It was a strap on. What do I even do with this thing now? FML
Today, I received a package in the mail from a guy, with no warning. He then blocked me. It was a strap on. What do I even do with this thing now? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, UPS delivered my kinky sex toys to my ex-husband. Apparently the delivery went wrong so they sent it to the last known address. He called to say he got my "package" and I had to go pick it up. FML
Today, I was told by Amazon that a belt I had ordered was arriving. I grabbed an Amazon package out of the mailbox without even checking who the package was addressed to. I now have an awkward apology ahead of me for opening my stepbrother's box of condoms. FML
Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML
Today, a guy I blocked online for sending me creepy messages showed up at my house. I have no idea how he found my address, or even my real name. FML
Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML
Today, the guy I've been dating online for the last year and who I'm madly in love with blocked me. FML
Today, I received a package addressed to me. Excited, I opened it in front of my whole family. Inside was a box of adult toys that I definitely did not order. Turns out, my friend Mike thought it would be hilarious to send it to me as a joke. My grandma's face will haunt me forever. FML
Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
Clearly he decided that he had over presumed what you would be comfortable with or even if you were interested in him. And now he is embarrassed and humiliated…. Keep it if you’re into it, toss it if you’re not. You didn’t do anything wrong.
Lost Reggie 22
It seems he found a clever way to say... "go f yourself."
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Comments (4)
Wadlaen 24
You enjoy it!
Chazzster 32
Clearly he decided that he had over presumed what you would be comfortable with or even if you were interested in him. And now he is embarrassed and humiliated…. Keep it if you’re into it, toss it if you’re not. You didn’t do anything wrong.
Lost Reggie 22
It seems he found a clever way to say... "go f yourself."
Rspfamily3 3
mount it on the wall, captioned “the one that got away “