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The all-time greatest FMLs

That one annoying friend

By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 06:00 - Brazil - Sao Jose do Rio Preto

Today, I went to an old boyfriend's birthday party. An annoying friend suggested that we should try dating again. We were both with our new partners, who were standing nearby when she said that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 163

Wicked

By lordoftheweird - 23/02/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I was accused of witchcraft. This is not the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 171

Red flag

By Anonymous - 11/10/2024 16:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I explained to my husband how much it bothers me when he constantly talks about one of his coworkers. He listened closely, never interrupted me, and seemed genuinely sorry afterwards. While he was consoling me and telling me that he'll stop, he called me by her name… three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 70

Thanks wasn't given

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 18:00

Today, my boyfriend is pissed at me for giving everyone food poisoning right before the holiday and ruining the weekend. He’s the one that forced and berated me into using the nasty expired ingredients in his mom’s kitchen, even though I knew better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 197

Sleeping together is exhausting

By Anonymous - 08/10/2021 20:00 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I realized how hard it is to get a good night's sleep next to each other when we both fell asleep watching John Wick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 220

Homestuck

By Alex - 02/04/2023 10:00 - United States - Irvine

Today, I was doing homework when had to leave to help my family out with chores. I didn't mind it of course, but it turns out I could get signed out of the science homework site, and now have no way to sign back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 126

Elaborate prank

By Anonymous - 26/04/2023 22:00

Today, my dear wife, an expert seamstress, took apart one shoulder of my favourite vest, looping the whole shirt through itself like a figure of eight, then stitched it back up. It took me over a full minute to realise why I suddenly couldn’t fold it flat, and she recorded me failing at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 147

By Anonymous - 16/08/2019 06:00

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 2 672

Get out

By This is gonna suck - 24/04/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I have a huge work project which absolutely requires a healthy amount of working at home to get done in time. This wouldn't be a problem normally. Except, thanks to my roommate's noisy dogs, I no longer have a "quiet zone" where I can buckle down on things and not be disturbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 155

Unaware ableist

By Anonymous - 31/08/2020 05:01 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I sat outside for a half hour hysterically laughing at this kid next door for constantly mooing like a cow. My mum came out to inform me the kid is severely disabled. I even mooed back at one stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 2 165

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 299

Get well soon

By BigAssSwagBear - 17/12/2023 12:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I was told I have a tumor in my brain and require surgery. This all came about due to having a MRI for my migraines and then finding it. The kicker? They're positive the tumor isn’t playing any role in the migraines. I'm now struggling to cope and pass grad school exams with this weight in me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 98

Skillset

By Anonymous - 07/06/2023 00:02

Today, my son has the bizarre ability to remember any movie or series he has ever watched, even from the sounds without seeing the screen. He just identified Jumanji by the sound of Van Pelt's rifle, despite not having watched the movie in years… yet he only passed two GCSEs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 214

Rudderless on Instagram

By born loser - 27/06/2023 10:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, It’s been six years since I graduated high school. My peers in my grade never included me socially, and lots talked down on me or behind my back growing up. My self esteem was ruined and I’ve been pushed into dead end jobs; meanwhile lots of my bullies are now travelling and/or successful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 406

Sneaky but clever

By Sorryfornotbeinggoodenough - 19/02/2022 18:00

Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 739

My electronic life

By Fuck my actual life - 18/06/2022 18:00

Today, I just realized that my Sims character has a far more stable lifestyle than what I can ever have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 238

Probably

By Not superstitious, but... - 14/06/2023 10:00 - United States - Midlothian

Today, it's the first day that my overbearing and too-controlling parents are gone on a 2-week-long vacation, trusting me enough to take care of the house while they're gone. So far, I've broken a plate (it was in the microwave less than a minute before it exploded) and the power's gone out. Bad omens? FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 171

Thanks Mom

By melissa - 13/12/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, my school sent me an email saying I would be transferred to another class this Monday. I told my mom about it. Turns out my drunk mom ran into my teacher at a bar and started berating her for being at the bar, instead of grading her “kid’s exam already.” I’m a high school senior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 97

Heartwarming

By Anonymous - 25/12/2025 15:00

Today, I had to break the news to my husband that I had miscarried our first child, to which he replied, "Thank God!" and told me he wanted a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 101

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 16:00 - Sweden - Linköping

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 99

Drop it

By Anonymous - 02/01/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, when I tried to play my new Switch, my girlfriend yelled at me to "put down the damn video games." I've barely had five minutes to use this thing without her bitching at me. The worst part? She gave it to me, for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 152

Wait til you're 50

By Anonymous - 01/11/2022 00:00

Today, I read an FML about a guy who only kissed his girlfriend to make her shut up up. I left a comment, telling him to break up with her and stop wasting her time, only to realise I’d wasted 3 years on my abusive alcoholic ex. I’m now 30 and starting to think I’m getting too old to find someone and have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 499

America, **** yeah!

By Anonymous - 23/06/2023 10:00

Today, I realized it became my duty as an American to check in on nearby friends and family every time another mass shooting happens. My government refuses to do anything about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 387

Not again…

By Anonymous - 18/10/2022 06:00

Today, I had a dissociative episode that lasted over an hour. The trigger was the Netflix show Hilda. Other triggers were the games Tekken and Diddy Kong Racing. It just seems random at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 226

It was fun while it lasted

By Anonymous - 29/04/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my toxic mother-in-law's retirement plans include moving in with us when she gets old. The death glares I’m getting from my wife right now are so worth the satisfaction I got from telling that evil old bat I’d burn the house down first before I let her move into it with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 114

Not gonna happen

By notahotel - 10/06/2026 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my parents are calling me a spoilt brat and threatening to disown me if I don't let my sister, her six kids, and freshly out of jail boyfriend move into the house I spent 10 years working my ass off to buy without having a mortgage. Sis said I can sleep on the lounge as long as I pay rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 63

Countdown

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Normanton

Today, my wife was screaming at our son over his maths homework, so I poked my nose in to help calm them down. My wife was not happy when I pointed out that most of her calculations and answers were wrong, whereas our son got most of his right. I’m now in the doghouse because my wife can’t count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 107

It creeps up on you

By Anonymous - 10/08/2021 14:01

Today, I looked down while taking a piss and could only see my belly button. Wow, I’m fat now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 429

No typing! Only petting!

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 15:00

Today, my cat decided to use my keyboard as a scratching post, and now my computer won't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 218

Growing old sucks

By Anonymous - 07/04/2023 00:00

Today, I've gotten to that point in life where I can no longer seem to trust a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 157

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The Top

Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 61

Today, I got a call from a really great company that I applied to work for, asking me to come in for an interview. When I went in, they had no appointment scheduled and no idea who I was. It turned out it was all a prank by my brother and his friends. My brother is 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 577

You deserved it 2 185

Today, I went to a movie with a girl I went to high school with. There was a preview for an upcoming 3D movie. I asked her if she had ever seen a 3D movie before. She told me she couldn't because she is blind in one eye. Apparently it's a "sensitive subject." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 577

You deserved it 4 893

Today, I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 years. I've had a really bad week and am feeling depressed, and he knows this. He's also just decided to tell me he has a two-month-old daughter. We do not have an open relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 288

You deserved it 487

Today, I am 7 weeks pregnant and dealing with severe morning sickness. Not to worry though, it should get better at 14 weeks, right after I get back from my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 704

Today, I sent a porn link to my buddy. I received no response from him for hours so I went to text him again. "Brian" and "Boss" are right next to each other in my contacts list. Tomorrow I go into work to find out if I still have a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 590