Today, my son accidentally damaged another kid in the face with a baseball bat, while blindfolded trying to hit a piñata. Except there was no piñata, or blindfold. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, my son has a habit of picking on his little brother when in a bad mood. I heard a massive crash and found him out cold with his little brother holding a homemade slingshot and a bunch of rocks. Apparently, in school they just learned about David and Goliath. FML
Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
Today, I was playing tetherball with my younger brother. I get really competitive, so I threw it as hard as I could. It came around and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML
Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
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Top comments
juggalo2 22
Or accident.
Ellimac21 14
So did your child actually assaulted another one knowing full well what he was doing ? Or did he simply tried to swing a bat and the kid behind him got it in the face ? Sugarcoating this "accident" is not going to change anything, you know that right ?
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Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
And even more suspicious is that it was baseball bat and not a cricket bat in Australia! It would be like someone in the US getting beaten with a didgeridoo or poisoned with Vegemite.
juggalo2 22
Or accident.
ojoRojo 27
Uh what?
BurnInDemonFire 39
OP's kid belted another kid in the face with a baseball bat, and OP dressed the story up because it needed flair or something.
Ellimac21 14
So did your child actually assaulted another one knowing full well what he was doing ? Or did he simply tried to swing a bat and the kid behind him got it in the face ? Sugarcoating this "accident" is not going to change anything, you know that right ?
RichardPencil 32
It changes everything if this goes to the legal system. They need to keep up the steady stream of bullshitting that this was accidental. The kid needs to emulate Trump to stay out of deep trouble.
millsjoshua949 12
The way this is written is confusing but I think what you're saying is that your apparently out of control kid attacked another kid with a bat. ydi