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The all-time greatest FMLs

The customer is always right

By meiju - 24/07/2022 12:00

Today, my boss is beginning to hate me. Why? Because people keep coming to my register with one or two dollars worth of stuff, then paying for it with hundred dollar bills, ignoring the sign saying not to do that. I’ve had to ask him to refill my till after every transaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 439

Can't get any lower

By McNuggetsMcQueen - 01/12/2023 00:00 - United States - Lake Wales

Today, I attended my mom's funeral, who was the only person who ever truly supported me. During the funeral, the cemetery representative told me he was sure the hole was dug to specification, while at the same moment the casket got caught on the ground and tipped, dropping her 6ft down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 120

Manager of the week

By Anonymous - 26/05/2024 22:00

Today, my boss yelled at me for ignoring emails on my day off. Our emails are only accessible from work desktops, so I’d have had to be at my desk to answer it, which I had to explain to him 3 times before he understood. This is what happens when CEO’s promote their nephews to middle management. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 73

False alarm

By Anonymous - 13/10/2023 06:30

Today, my uncle called me at work, telling me to rush him to the doctor's. I get home and he doesn't"t want to go anywhere. He says he has the chills, so I turn on the furnace. Next he says he's too hot, and stripped to his underwear. I ask him to let me take him to doctor. He does nothing. Work is expecting me to bring a doctor's note tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 132

Good smell

By smellslikeroses - 30/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 1 939

Strike while the iron is hot

By Hatim - 04/04/2023 06:00 - United Arab Emirates - Sharjah

Today, I had an appointment with my dentist to check for cavities. He told me that most of my teeth have cavities, and that I may need a root canal. In fact, I ended up actually getting a painful root canal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 199

Simple pleasures

By Anonymous - 04/08/2023 06:00

Today, I’m so broke I actually got excited at finding a 5p coin as it meant I actually had a coin to put in my musical change jar. The kicker, it’s been so long since I last put change in there, the battery had gone flat so it didn’t play its little jingle noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 149

Pranks are terrible

By Anonymous - 06/08/2021 06:01 - United States - Humble

Today, my sister threw my water bottle as a joke. When I stepped off the bleachers, my right foot lost its footing and my other foot followed. Now I have two sprained ankles at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 87

Gaslighting 101

By Anon - 25/09/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I volunteered to be a "mentally stable" person in a psychology experiment at my university. Little did I know, they'd paired me with a psychology grad student who asked me a series of increasingly bizarre and personal questions about my life. I ended up questioning my own sanity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 163

Lonely dude

By Anonymous - 07/10/2023 00:02 - India

Today, after my boss asked me to work late on a Friday and I'd agreed, thinking it would show him my dedication to the corporation, I got to the office. I realized after a while that I was the only one there, and the building's security system had locked me in. I spent my Friday night talking to our office goldfish in an empty row of cubicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 203

The AAA gone rural

By Anonymous - 02/02/2023 04:00

Today, my truck broke down in the middle of nowhere, and the only help available was a farmer with a mule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 134

Our heart goes out to you

By BloodyButUnbowed - 12/02/2025 03:00 - United States - Lake Oswego

Today, I'm scheduling a cab to take me to my cancer surgery on Tuesday. I need a cab because there is literally no one to go with me, or to help me afterwards. I am truly alone in the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 110

Let it lie

By Anonymous - 16/11/2021 14:00

Today, I was so happy to be divorced from my asshole husband, I threw my ring off the bridge near the park where we met. As I was walking away, a diver surfaced, yelled, “I think you dropped this, miss” and threw the ring back at me. I can't catch a break today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 1 332

Stars Hollow

By Anonymous - 31/07/2023 15:00

Today, I ended things with my hometown, on-and-off-again ex-boyfriend. I leave for college soon and felt other things took priority over him (selfish, I know). I met practically every single one of his family members in the street, heard his name being screamed in a department store, and had an overall shitty day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 370

Not a good look

By Gloria - 13/03/2023 00:00

Today, date night with my boyfriend. I had my makeup done, fake lashes, etc. He was staring at me and I thought, "Oh, he loves how my eyes look" so I started flirting a lot, fluttering my lashes. We then took a pic and saw my lashes were falling, so I asked, ”Were they like that the whole night?” He replied, “Yeah, it looked weird.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 498

Don't you know who I am?

By Anonymous - 28/12/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter told a police officer to call me because I could get them fired unless they let her off for speeding, spitting at and kicking officers, and damaging police property. I work in a supermarket and have no idea what she was talking about. I can’t fire anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 178

Meme life

By Anonymous - 02/02/2023 22:00

Today, I tripped on an actual banana peel and fell over in front of my crush. I'm pretty sure that's the closest I'll ever come to being a meme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 148

By bonmoment - 11/08/2015 14:54 - Serbia - Belgrade

Today, since my neighbor bought two cows and put them in his garden, the smell discourages any potential buyers who come to visit my house that’s been for sale for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 56

Pedestrian blues

By Anonymous - 05/02/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, after I'd saved up for a deposit on a new car, I found out when I went to the dealership that I wasn’t eligible for a loan, due to my credit score. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 315

By Bobi - 03/06/2014 09:18 - Austria

Today, I had planned a pig eye dissection with my students. I didn’t think it was possible to have a student stupid enough to swallow the lens. Now I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 68

Sussy

By Anonymous - 11/09/2023 07:30

Today, on a whim, I bought my wife some flowers on my way home. She put them in a vase then asked me what stupid thing I did that I’m pre-apologising for. She refuses to believe I bought her flowers for any other reason. Man, I must be a really shitty husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 298

HUMAN! I NEED ATTENTION!

By Mur - 09/09/2023 22:00

Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 140

A day to remember

By Disappointed - 16/12/2023 22:00 - United States - Piscataway

Today, I arrived at my best friend's wedding and found out that my invitation was no longer valid. His brother tried to explain that they'd decided to make the ceremony for family members only, then two our classmates popped out to say hello. They're not related, neither to my friend nor to his fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 129

Goddamn commies

By Pronouns - 05/04/2022 02:00

Today, my latest date told me to lose his number and never contact him again all because I have "pronouns" in my Instagram bio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 1 308

Self sabotage

By Leah - 05/05/2023 03:00

Today, I was super nervous about seeing a really cute rental property in a HIGHLY competitive market. I thought it was going well until I panicked and shook the landlord's hand as I was leaving, even though she specifically said she doesn't do handshakes at the beginning of the tour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 335

The high road

By Stephy - 22/07/2021 11:01

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Trying to be the bigger person, I told him, "Your loss, not mine." He responded with, "I didn’t lose anything really. You let yourself go. Have you looked in the mirror lately?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 987

Cats will be cats

By Seasoned Cat Veteran - 18/04/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I'm watching my brother's cat while he's gone. I'm a seasoned cat veteran, having been around cats my whole life, but I never thought I would ever have to say, "Bob, why did you jump into the trashcan again?" with complete seriousness. This cat is WEIRD. And I've seen quite a few oddball cats before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 201

Simply having a wonderful Christmas time!

By Hoe, hoe, hoe - 25/12/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my ex posted a rant on Facebook about how much he hates this time of year. He ended it with "and now the bitch broke up with me two days before Christmas." He conveniently left out the part where "the bitch" caught him having sex with another woman last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 95

By Anonymous - 05/07/2019 05:58

Today, while we were in a hotel, I got so drunk I apparently couldn't find my room, and passed out in the corridor. I woke up to see hotel staff calling security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 2 062

Winter Is Coming!

By FML Approved - 14/07/2017 03:30

Only a few short days remain until the new season of Game of Thrones begins! The FML Team is pretty excited, in case you couldn't tell.

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 274

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The Top

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 691

You deserved it 7 545

Today, I got my license. Instead of congratulating me, my buddies created a betting pool for when I get into a serious accident. Thanks for the support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 869

You deserved it 3 839

Today, ignoring the unspoken rule of not entering the bus when the driver's not inside, I went in while he was taking a break. As I stepped inside, he reached in the window and pressed the "close-door" button. It closed on my hand. Everyone at the bus stop laughed as I yelped in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 385

You deserved it 29 763

Today, I took a drug test for probation and failed a category called "tricyclic antidepressants". The tablet of Benadryl I took last night for sleep assistance caused me to violate my probation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 061

You deserved it 601

Today, my boyfriend’s female "best friend" hates me for absolutely no other reason other than she, "just doesn’t get along with girls." My boyfriend doesn’t see a problem with this, and insists I should just accept it since, "that’s just how she is." Time to throw the whole man away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 295

You deserved it 384

Today my boss went digging through my drawer, took a pack of gum, and told me I got him the wrong flavor. He kept it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 106