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By AwkwardPartyBear - 17/09/2013 21:27 - United States - Riverview

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 160

You deserved it 7 426

AwkwardPartyBear tells us more.

AwkwardPartyBear 24

Wednesday 18 September 2013 10:03

I feel that I should have explained a bit further about the trip. A group and I went for charity causes (sort of like a Meals on Wheels world tour donation- just with a group). We could have shipped goods, but as someone said in the group, "it took out the adventure in the purpose". Although, we didn't explore as much as we meant to.. and instead donated/volunteered in different charity events throughout the year in different cities/countries. I'm happy among the fact that we helped the cause, but it was not much of a world-adventure as some FML commenters picture it. But I did buy a shitload of Twinkies and embarrassed myself hugging the boxes while crying rivers in the middle of the gas station.

By Ouijake - 04/01/2017 00:15

Today, I tried out the new VR headset I got for Christmas. I downloaded a 'Moon Walk' app and went for a walk around my basement. I felt adventurous and tried to climb my stairs, took a nice large step ready to ascend the lunar hill, and found myself standing in my cat's litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 543

You deserved it 3 550

Creepy

By Anonymous - 10/09/2020 20:00

Today, one week after moving into my new apartment in a new city to get away from my stalker ex, I met my new neighbour. Yep, stalker ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 892

You deserved it 137

With a heavy heart…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I watched my best friend get married to the guy I have been in love with since the eighth grade. I was the maid of honor, and had to give a toast to the couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 954

You deserved it 17 987

By anon_smh - 18/02/2016 04:37 - United States - Bozeman

Today, after interviewing for a promotion to a position that was created with me in mind, I eagerly accepted a call from my boss, expecting good news. Turns out, they found a better applicant, who they don't believe will need support from the position I currently hold, so it's being eliminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 577

You deserved it 1 416

By Anonymous - 17/01/2010 13:44 - United States

Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 205

You deserved it 2 724

By rockstarohyeah - 02/07/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I was given the best news of my life. I am cancer free and am not, at the ripe age of 23 going to bite the dust. My husband left his journal on the nightstand in our bedroom. He wrote, "I feel like a bad person, but if she dies, I don't have to get divorced." FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 062

You deserved it 4 866

By notonthepavement - 15/02/2016 11:04 - United States - Desoto

Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 759

You deserved it 1 676

By heallven - 31/01/2013 12:26 - France - Ostricourt

Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 593

You deserved it 11 485

By Nicole557 - 03/11/2011 10:56 - United States

Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though. With my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 530

You deserved it 10 509

By iNearlyHurled - 28/09/2012 08:24 - United States

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 068

You deserved it 2 824

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 11:56 - United States - Newburyport

Today, after a snowstorm my son decided that boarding off the roof onto my truck would be fun. My truck now has a puncture wound. The same truck that drove him to the hospital for his puncture wound and broken arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 908

You deserved it 1 906

By OfCourse - 27/06/2009 05:32 - United States

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 319

You deserved it 3 433

By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 23:55 - United States

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 197

You deserved it 2 825

Luck of the draw

By smallmediumatlrg - 25/06/2009 19:17 - United States

Today, I went to a yard sale and found a cute plush duck. I sent a pic of it to my friend with the message "Jackpot!" I guess she didn't see the pic because she called me up all excited, thinking my boyfriend of 6 years finally proposed to me. "No, I said, I just found a big duck for $1." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 446

You deserved it 7 052

By sideeffect001 - 02/02/2016 18:48 - United States - Logan

Today, I found out that my tax filing status was never changed after my divorce. This means I haven't been paying enough and now the government wants its money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 537

You deserved it 4 304

By Anonymous - 27/10/2011 15:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. The only way I could have gotten pregnant is from having gotten drunk and sleeping with my ex. We broke up because I didn't want children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 844

You deserved it 54 849

By dollybabe - 09/01/2010 21:20 - Ireland

Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 692

You deserved it 11 709

By Anonymous - 31/01/2016 12:11 - United Kingdom - Pontypool

Today, my grandmother yet again asked where my grandfather is. She refuses to believe us when we tell her that he passed away 6 years ago. She always insists that he's out cheating on her and accuses us of lying to cover his arse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 436

You deserved it 1 568

By water fail - 28/01/2016 11:42 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, it was an extremely hot day so I hit up the beach for a swim. Just as I entered the water, the first wave approached me. I tried to jump it and lost my footing, managing to dislocate my hip. I had to be dragged from the water by the lifeguards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 433

You deserved it 2 332

She said yes!

By Anonymous - 07/12/2014 00:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 122

You deserved it 2 855

By Anonymous - 26/12/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, my wife thinks I will agree to anything she says if she just pleasures me orally. I now found out, she is correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 885

You deserved it 41 207

Switching off

By Anonymous - 14/01/2022 17:04

Today, my wife finally gave up on our autistic 11 year-old son and decided to have him taken into a care facility, because his autism is so bad, all he can do is sleep, stare vacantly, play on his iPad, or scream for hours. I’m kind of glad he’s leaving, but I can’t shake the dam guilt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 980

You deserved it 1 072

By SonofMnemosyne - 19/11/2018 07:30 - United States

Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 547

You deserved it 323

By mr1234 - 02/12/2014 04:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's either be alone and miserable, or go on shitty dates and be miserable. I have no other options. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 515

You deserved it 6 760

mr1234 tells us more.

mr1234 6

Wednesday 3 December 2014 1:08

OP here--I'm quite happy with my life otherwise; I have great family, a place to live and food to eat, a job I really like. I'm just very lonely. However, in my experience with dating sites, I get very frustrated because many of the dates go nowhere (because of many different reasons, many of them objectively pertaining to the other party). I do not go out to bars/clubs, and even though I have a number of activities outside the house, they are majority female (kickboxing, walking group, female friends that don't know a lot of single males, etc). I feel like I'm really missing that special someone in my life, and want to do all I can to find him, but "dating" is just making me feel worse and worse about myself (over multiple years). So literally, I have no other choice that to be unhappy (in this area) and alone, or be horribly uncomfortable on dates with strangers (which are indeed few and far between to begin with). So **** all of you for saying i deserve it. maybe with some background you'll understand that character limitations don't show the whole story.