Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my computer was hit by something bigger than a virus: a car. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML
Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened the browser repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML
Today, I managed to infect a clean computer with a virus while looking up info on how to rid my other computer of the same virus. FML
Today, I realized that my virus protection program now has a virus. FML
Today, without any warning, I projectile vomited all over my laptop. I think I broke my computer. FML
Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML
Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML
Today, my dad was sat on my laptop in the living room trying to learn how to do some rewiring around the house when he, and I quote, ”clicked on the thing.” My laptop is now riddled with so many viruses it’s basically a house brick. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
**** Louise! Did you semen who threw it? I bet you weren't feeling very spunky after this seedy event. Cum on, spill the beans!
littlemsweirdo 12
That's ******* disgusting.
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Comments (126)
sux4u121 10
Road head anybody?
boxbrandon11 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
1. Its called Road Dome 2. You don't wear condums for head
xxblmpknxx 10
Actually 3, some people do. Diseases and infections aren't transferred from genitals only.
crazydudefrom90s 10
Could have been worse. The Trojan could have hit you!
ittsdann 6
3- a lot of people actually call it road head. Just because you call it something else doesn't make someone wrong.
the_blind_wonder 1
Road head? Lol. That's kind of difficult to do. On a completely unrelated note, I find it very interesting that every FML on here has tons of comments, but none of them by the original poster of the FML. Is it because they're embarrassed? Because they just don't care? Or because they're so afraid of getting slammed by all the assholes on here? Any thoughts?
walmartpaysme 15
67, there are tons of FMLs that are replied to by the original poster. Usually the comment on the comments made by other people.
alphaskater09 9
You examined it close enough to see it was a Trojan?
Futacy 30
You should check for viruses. Not the computer malware, but herpes.
andy70707 6
83 - It was probably just any brand and he said that for the sake of the pun.
BeachBoi_Alex 7
14 what kind of ****** would ACTUALLY wear a condom for getting head, unless it was flavored or something
littlemsweirdo 12
That's ******* disgusting.
gc327072 31
The FYL is strong with this one.
ComTlancy 12
I would've said: Great shot kid! That was one in a million!
XtraEzeee 8
I'm not surprised. I semen throwing condoms all the time.
DocBastard 40
**** Louise! Did you semen who threw it? I bet you weren't feeling very spunky after this seedy event. Cum on, spill the beans!
Death_Hoe_Inn 10
DocBastard- That comment is so cumforting.
Evaloscity 6
Are you finished?
racerapj 10
No way. Cum on man. Enjoy the time with us and go nuts
TBelle4Ever 15
You need to keep your head up.
flockz 20
you make funny puns, i love you shlong time.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
Who ever did that is such a dick.
Reeserr 3
Not funny
Pelvispresley 8
At least it hit the faptop, an not you.
ASD_K 11
Semen(and ladies)? It can please you to release this stuff! So cum on, let's all just have some fun!
Inheritance 10
That's a cummy situation.. Just got to keep your head high!
dylanmellark101 5
116. Do u have a problem with dyslexics?? :|
KiddNYC1O 22
91- Agreed...
espeo92 2
You're free trial of spyware ran out
Hiimhaileypotter 53
*Your. Sorry, pet peeve of mine.
JustPassin 4
Funny!! Lol
P1P_BOY 6
do you know what spyware is?... i dont think anybody would want a free trial of spyware just saying unless you want all your accounts hacked...
pl1992 5
That's the best comment in the world
trollcrusher 17
Your laptop may need protection from "protection".
andrew87804 4
GANGNAM STYLE!
themarshal_fml 6
^ This is not a catch phrase. Stop trying to make it one. It's just annoying and makes you look like an idiot.
andrew87804 4
I was talking about his profile picture,and you don't need to be a ******* dick about it.
Epikouros 32
Whop, whop!
KaeporaGaebora 4
I'm sure MSE, AVG, or Norton couldn't even protect against that.
melonrind 8
The only good thing is at least your laptop took the hit and not your face :/ this is a true fml moment... Yuck!
onlychildFTW 34
I think I would have to buy a new laptop if I was OP. that's just really disgusting.
RpiesSPIES 27
That is gross, but why would you be working on a laptop outside? Lots of disastrous things happen out there.
TheMathMajor 26
It's okay, love. The sunlight won't hurt you. You can go outside of your house every now and then. :P
RpiesSPIES 27
I don't believe you D: Also, to clarify, I don't normally see people working on a laptop outside, when I do they're normally at outside diner tables or something, never on a bench on the side of a road o.o
Airman1988 9
Drive by **** bomb? that's disturbing
gc327072 31
More like biological warfare.
cr3ativity 15
Bioterrorism at it's finest/ worst. Just imagine it, a plane flying over a city and it drops its load on the unsuspecting citizens.
mclauren29 22
At least it didn't hit you?
deathy94 14
Not even Norton would protect you from that situation.
Kyle225 3
Lol like norton protects us from anything..
doctorhook86 25
11: If I know Norton "Anti"virus (and I do), it was probably Mr Norton himself who threw that condom.
cr3ativity 15
Nod32 would help.