Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a date and tried to act seductive and mysterious by slowly sipping my drink while making eye contact with him. I misjudged the straw’s length and location and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I accidentally stuck my thumb into my eye and scratched myself just under my eyebrow. I don't know why my hand was anywhere near my eye. FML
Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in her car with one of her girlfriends. I snuck up to the driver's side window and tried to startle her by banging on the window. The window was down. My thumb went right in her eye. She has to wear a patch for 2 weeks. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, I was polishing a ring I made at a jewelry shop I intern at. The ring flicked off my fingers and smashed me in the eye. It only took a single trip to the emergency room to make me pretty sure I won't be getting the job. FML
Today, I was on a date with a guy I really like. Everything went well, and then he wanted to kiss me. As he leaned towards me, I got slightly panicky and ducked out of the way, causing him to headbutt the car behind me. Now we know why I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to put in a contact while drunk. My eye still hurts. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
He just wanted you to be blinded by love. Literally.
Bustedbutsilent 13
I guess you didn't SEE that coming? I'll let myself out.
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Comments (65)
Crazion 26
I seriously hope you're alright.
youdontsay123456 21
That's gotta hurt like hell. Go to the doctor OP, hope your eye heals quick
Hoopachi 19
All the puns are pretty cornea if you ask me
Bradley_Dillon 39
If your contact lens can go behind your eye, you've got some other problems.
Bustedbutsilent 13
I guess you didn't SEE that coming? I'll let myself out.
Zelphoric 25
We can turn a blind eye, this time.
oreoeater 21
Ive seen all I can take
spacefish966 18
I wonder if he didn't grasp the concept of a blind date. ;)
False_Stupidity 42
He really blind sided her with that one.
Welshite 40
He just wanted you to be blinded by love. Literally.
mattzawesome 28
I laughed harder then I should have at that
JZY1989 23
at least it won't pop out anytime soon.
thomasmh97 10
Happy valentines... Am I right?
brenton490 19
What Valentine's? I didn't see anything.
PuppiesKisses 19
I hope he didn't scratch anything while he was at it. Best of luck OP!
MOOSE786 8
The question here is, was it worth it?
whysobeachy 37
No.
katie1243 16
I guess he was a sight for sore....EYE
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
You didn't even say it right
nickie_94 18
I guess your next date will be at the hospital