Today, I had to stay late at work. My husband made me take a video of myself punching out, to prove I wasn't cheating on him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, I was watching our home security cameras from work when I saw my husband get home and grab a beer. I activated the camera microphone and told him to put it back and fold the laundry. He flipped off the camera, chugged the beer, and started jacking off on the living room sofa. FML
Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, I came home upset about the sexism in my work place. I just wanted to be alone, but my husband insisted we talk about it. I noticed he kept looking over and one of his hands was moving. He was playing video games the entire time I was spilling my guts. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm and got fired for being late for work. My husband had changed my alarm to go off at 8:00PM instead of 8:00AM all because apparently, I was suspected of “conspiracy to cheat” by liking a male friend’s selfie on Instagram. FML
Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML
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Top comments
brocode86 0
does he have reason to believe you are cheating?
perdix 31
He's just stalling so he can get rid of his girlfriend before you get home. It's usually guilty people who are the most suspicious of their spouses.
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Comments (139)
MrsBieber4Life 0
Atleast that's the First time...I hope.
Damn_Hippster 11
Instead of punching out, you should punch your husband!
brocode86 0
does he have reason to believe you are cheating?
deviable 9
Maybe his previous partner cheated on him?
brrarm 17
Sorry for the trust issues. But also People usually suspect others in what they are themselves capable of or are doing. Be careful He might be cheating on you :(
That0therguy 4
Where do you work?
perdix 31
He's just stalling so he can get rid of his girlfriend before you get home. It's usually guilty people who are the most suspicious of their spouses.
Damn_Hippster 11
Instead of punching out, you should punch your husband!
amanda_say_whutt 9
Sounds like he's insecure..
EvilPotato 15
53 No really?!
c00lguy90 0
Cheatr ydi
Keyman1212 14
Maybe he has a time clock fetish. There are weird people out there...
AshleighNason 24
where his other girlfriend works
hinchkongfang 0
Punch HIM out!!!
nolarboot 10
Insecure... Hence the OP's name. :)
n_epic_fail 14
Insecurity kills.... Relationships
thantomaniac 0
What happened to comment #1?
TheFlyingMan 8
Your comment was much better than perdix' I don't know why you aren't getting much attention 85.
thatssomeBS 9
Now, 154, is the time where you stop questioning perdix. By the way, OP, there is no reason to stay in a relationship with a partner that does not, and probably will never, trust you. Good luck.
r0ckPrinc3sS 0
Not only is he insecure, he is also an idiot!! What!!?? Op can only have an affair outside of her work?? Maybe op is getting it on with her boss. A little "overtime"! ;)
MyMilkShake2Yard 0
Wow u r soo... Hawt
italianangel22 0
Maybe...
justin_505 2
you are Hot!!
gatorsfan100 1
154 aye shawty you sexyy;)
izzie321 27
This sounds like something my obsessive ex would make me do.
crudeandrudeguy 29
@154- Perdix and DocBastard are "brand name" commenters. That's why... They earned their fan base
nciolfi 0
Hahaha that bites FYL
theten_fml 9
Now make one of you punching him out =]
TheNewGuy03 29
On my first read, I thought the husband wanted a video of his wife punching herself out, and I immediately imagined seeing it on video. Aww yeah. |the kid|
k010sweetygurl 5
U might as well get a divorce
iBanana 17
Or go the extra mile to prove to her husband she isn't a cheater. Not every relationship problem needs to result in divorce.
Gtfo_Troll 0
Not every relationship problem is solved by breaking up. It's called communication. I wonder how your future relationships will turn out.
Penguin_swc 0
You CAN'T prove a negative to people like that. And they don't change. They just get worse. OP's life will keep getting worse for the next 80 years. She can get out now or live in hell for the next 70 years. Seems mean of you to wish suffering on her.
abbybailey204 19
Divorces are over rated
disturbedrox11 17
Every time someone posts that they are having troubles with their partners there are always replies saying to just break up. Why is that the response to everything?
DocBastard 40
Disturbedrox - it's because the majority of people that say that are immature kids who have no idea what it takes to have a real adult relationship. All marriages have difficulties, and the key to a strong long-term relationship is COMMUNICATION.
cheefer 0
You assume that half the people on this site actually practice common sense or some sort of realistic view of life as it is.
TheNewGuy03 29
Divorce should be the last resort. However, there are some things that make that decision easier (e.g., inability to communicate, lingering trust issues, abuse, etc.). Once you've exhausted your other options, then pressing the "big red button" on the relationship is a viable option. Not everything is meant to be, despite our insistence to the contrary. |the kid|
EvilPotato 15
67 your comment has confused me, first you said something stupid involving 80 years of OP's life, THEN, you say 70 years, so what is it? 70 or 80?
TurnpikeTwister 0
Today, I discovered that FML has been over-populated with over-opinionated brats that have never been married but think they can give advice; like divorce. FML.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Penguin, you are speaking out of your rear, friend. Speak for yourself alone. Not all are alike yourself, nor anyone you may know to so boldly state something as if it very well were factual.
thatssomeBS 9
89- There are three very important pieces needed for a successful relationship. You got the first one, communication. The other two are trust and respect. Without mutual trust and respect, no amount of communication will save that train. Eventually it will jump the rails and take multiple innocent people with it.
stacianichole 2
I think OP's husband's behavior is a bit controlling and unhealthy WHICH would warrant counseling but if he were to refuse, I'm sorry, but this stuff doesn't change for the better on its own.
SkUrVy69 0
wow trust issues
KiddNYC1O 22
Insecurity as well.
ThaBeasty01 5
Drake
ohmandapants 17
Forget trust issues. Abusive relationship issues.
TurnpikeTwister 0
I think it's more ridiculous he thought he would even catch OP that way, she's the one handing him the footage!
ddeek 3
Trust me. End it now because it will never stop. Been there and divorced him. Constant accusations wore me out.
ohmandapants 17
^ you're absolutely right. And for the people who didn't get my comment, 'cause obviously some people didn't, OP is in an abusive relationship, and it has gotten so bad that he is able to manipulate and hurt her without actually being there. Trust issues are one thing, making her punch herself out to "prove" that she's faithful is another.
ohmandapants 17
I re read the FML and wasn't able to edit my comment. NEVER MIND. Her husband is a paranoid jackass, but not an abusive paranoid jackass.
NoOneLovesYou 13
Ah, trust. I can tell your relationship is going well. He might be cheating on YOU, so be careful.
kodinbug 2
Totally agree. It seems that when someone has that extreme of a trust issue in a relationship it's because they themselves are cheating or not being faithful.
TimysterGates 15
Someone has major trust issues.
nicholedestiny17 0
Haha at least he cares (:
cnkk07 8
He has a weird way of showing that he cares.
Daralea 21
Well, he does care. Not for her, but for himself. He wants to see the footage to quell his own suspicions. This has nothing to do with OP's security/safety while staying late. If he cared about that he would call/have her call just before leaving to make sure she was alright.
leadman1989 16
Ugh driving all the way back to the office just to fake it... but Ricardo's worth it. ;p
flockz 20
what the ****?!?!? HE TOLD ME HIS NAME WAS JAVIER!!
leadman1989 16
He lied to you... and called you a retarded bear! I didn't know what that meant until now. His name is Ricardo huge o dicko prona mustacia!
iliketurdles 7
Garcia. It's Ricardo Huge O Dicko Prona Mustacia Garcia. Doesn't that just roll right off your tongue?
flockz 20
NO IT'S NOT!! his name is javier longa shlonga martinez perez. don't you dare touch him!! HE'S MINE!!
13FTW 9
I thought his name was bill?
kickazz16 15
Ohhh chicas iz okaiii Ricardo shclono shlongo dickinson bob hasss enoughhh to goo arounnndddd :)
Strafeh 9
His name was Dixie... Dixie Normous
Hockey_fan 0
He told me his name was "Big Dick McGee"
lexex1 4
151 - too far
GypsyRover 0
... ... ... It's me.
texas_girl25 1
Sancho!!
Commander223 9
Both YDI and FYL... the actual FML sucks. But there's probably a reason to believe your cheating.
Commander223 9
** You're
deviable 9
Some people are just paranoid. It's not necessarily ops fault. People who have cheated are often paranoid about their partner doing the same. Or maybe his previous partner cheated on him, you never know.
Commander223 9
True. I did not think of it like that. But also, if you're going to be so worried about particular things like this, why even have a partner? You would think that since OP said "Husband" they would have trust in each other in the first place.