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By Mitcha857 - 30/07/2011 16:01 - United States

Today, I had my back waxed to deal with the uncontrollable hair growth. Afterwards, I broke out in numerous pimples where the hair used to be. Basically, a lose-lose situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 804

You deserved it 3 881

Tipping point

By stupid - 28/05/2022 06:00

Today, after eating out, my mother asked me to figure out 20 percent of the bill whilst staring daggers at me. I have never been good at math under pressure and especially not percentages, so I told her as such. She called me a complete idiot, to which my father simply said, “I agree.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319

You deserved it 409

Time is running out

By Anonymous - 17/01/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, at the age of 36, I had to write up my will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 105

By Monkey253100 - 03/06/2012 14:47 - France

Today, I decided to be healthy and go for a run. I broke my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 417

You deserved it 4 106

By baconman86 - 03/10/2010 22:24 - United States

Today, I put my good shoes out the window and on the roof to dry out because they were sopping wet. When I went to check them later on, they were still wet. And soaked in bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 168

You deserved it 27 096

Time to adopt a bunch of cats

By Anonymous - 02/03/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, I burst into tears when my 35 year-old cousin announced on social media she is going to be a grandma. Her 16 year-old son's girlfriend is pregnant. I am 33, single, and have been romantically invisible to everyone my whole life. I'm gonna die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 252

Slight anger issues

By IsabellaM - 27/05/2022 14:01

Today, my husband broke the vase and smashed the chandelier in the hallway, all because I asked him who he was on the phone with. His exact words were, “Do you ever just mind your fucking business? Goddamn!” Oh, and he told me I have to buy a new vase and replace the chandelier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 212

Great first impression

By Gillian from PA - 20/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I wore a new shirt to a job interview, feeling confident. Halfway through, I realized that my shirt had a huge ketchup stain on the shoulder from lunch. The hiring manager noticed and asked me, “What happened there?” I froze and muttered, "I’m just… really passionate about burgers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 216

Can't or won't?

By David - 17/08/2023 06:00

Today, after my dad was diagnosed with liver cancer, I'd packed my belongings and quit my job to go help my mom take care of him. Now she's had a stroke, so I spend my days/nights taking care of both of them. The thing is, I have 3 siblings that live within 5 miles that can't lift a finger to help. I love my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 106

Googoo gaga

By Daisie - 24/01/2025 00:00 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, I spent way too long baby-talking my neighbor’s dog through the fence, calling him "the cutest, sweetest baby." It turned out that my neighbor was sitting on the other side of the fence the entire time, out of view, quietly giggling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 424

By chlorinesmells - 30/05/2012 13:51 - United States

Today, a kid I taught to swim became my new boss, at the pool that I have worked at for nine years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 995

You deserved it 3 864

Sorry for your loss

By grant - 06/03/2021 20:01

Today, I was absolutely crucified online for asking the vet’s office how much it would cost to put my dog down. She's terminally ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 120

Classifieds

By Anonymous - 18/08/2023 06:00 - Germany

Today, my online ad was deleted for being in the wrong category. I'm looking for a good home for two old horses, so I'd put the ad in the category “Horses”. Maybe I should try again under “Lawn Mowers”? FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 72

Confused, lost

By Anonymous - 26/01/2025 03:00 - Switzerland - Neuchatel

Today, I missed my train. I was actually on the right platform but realized my mistake two minutes after it had left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 242

Treat yourself!

By Jenniwithani - 20/08/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I'd planned a DIY 'treat yourself' spa day at home. I put on a face mask and settled to relax in a bubble bath. Just as I was getting out of the tub, I slipped on the wet floor and crashed into the wall, leaving a perfect imprint of the face mask on the tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 137

By iLikeMyLegs - 09/05/2013 23:18 - Canada - Oshawa

Today, I was rushed to the ER due to a very swollen foot and high fever. The doctors said I just have a tissue infection but my parents believe I have a flesh eating disease. I can hear them discussing my future with an amputated leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 572

You deserved it 2 677

Congratulations!

By Anonymous - 30/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I spent practically an hour practicing my acceptance speech in front of the mirror after being nominated for "Employee of the Month." It turns out that they were just reading the names alphabetically, and I wasn’t even in the top five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 216

One tiny mistake

By Anonymous - 02/06/2022 04:00 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, I failed my driving test. Zero minor errors, one major fault. The fault was me thinking the road was one-way, positioned my car on the right lane to turn right, only to find out I was in the lane of oncoming traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 1 149

By Username - 25/09/2010 04:49 - France

Today, I was at a comedy club, and the girl behind me was drinking. Before she swallowed it, the comedian said something funny, making her spit it all in my hair. I had just had it done for my sister's wedding tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 544

You deserved it 6 616

WHERE IS IT?

By Erik - 13/03/2021 11:00 - Netherlands

Today, after days of torture, I finally found out where the annoying fire alarm with empty batteries was hidden. The previous house owners had it hidden behind the top board of a wall cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 24/05/2012 04:59 - United States - Humble

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 237

You deserved it 7 531

The step before rat-licker

By Annabelle - 17/03/2021 17:01

Today, I got caught sniffing a rat, and now my boss is forcing me to be tested for the black death and is "terrified" that I made everyone sick, and says I may be fired from my job as a pediatric anesthesiologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 1 253

Now you know

By Ouchies - 18/03/2021 17:01

Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 97

Daddy's little girl

By Anonymous - 05/06/2022 10:00

Today, I got into a screaming fight with my little sister. Why? Because I'm getting "too chummy" with our new stepmom, who by the way is a very sweet woman, and has made our dad so happy since they met. But my sister has made up her mind that all stepmothers are evil. She's seventeen and still thinks like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 106

Just checking

By whytoday - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff

Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 164

You deserved it 45 551

By imobesejk - 17/07/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 238

You deserved it 2 826

By Lexi - 31/10/2009 20:15 - France

Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 218

You deserved it 36 284

Capitalism, baby

By Anonymous - 09/06/2022 00:00

Today, I have a good job, good credit, no outstanding loans or credit card debt, good savings and so on, yet when I applied for a mortgage for a £100,000 house, I was offered a measly £35,000. What the fuck should I buy with that, a second hand wet cardboard box? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 165

Bad date

By I hate chuds - 12/02/2025 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was hit up to "Netflix and chill" by a guy I hang out with, so I dressed up real nice and went over. Unfortunately, the "Netflix" was actually watching Joe Rogan, and the "chill" was smiling politely whenever he would say, "He's right, you know?" and figuring out how and when to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 162

By Ovie - 25/07/2019 22:00

Today, I got caught absent-mindedly fondling my knob in front of Love Island. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 1 786

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The Top

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 465

You deserved it 9 345

Today, after several long years, a lot of debt, and two great degrees from a top university, I had to move back in with my parents, because no matter where I look, I can't find a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 863

You deserved it 4 087

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 248

You deserved it 3 656

Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said, "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 923

You deserved it 4 676

Today, I arranged the food on my plate in a smiley face to try and make myself feel better. I'm a 38 year old man. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 862

You deserved it 6 103

Today, I went to the grocery store in my brand new high heels. I tried to be graceful as I walked down the aisle but ended up slipping on some spilled juice and doing a weird half-dance, half-flailing thing. The shoppers around me turned to watch as I clumsily tried to regain my balance. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I also knocked over a display of discounted snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 414