Today, I realized there are only three things keeping me from committing suicide: My pets, my fictional comfort character, and the knowledge that if I failed, I’d not only be institutionalized, but be kicked out of my very Catholic high school. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mental illness hit rock bottom when I caught myself wishing I was buried next to my dog because nothing makes me happy anymore. FML
Today, I’m so lonely and sick of living that I wish my fictional comfort character was real, only so someone would hug me and tell me I’ll be okay, even if they were lying. FML
Today, I’ve been unemployed for a year since graduating. I haven’t been able to find a job or feel any joy in my life, and have been stuck at home, completely relying on my parents, but now they’re gonna kick me out. I’ve turned into a complete failure, I can’t even kill myself because I’m not brave enough. FML
Today, I finally caved and told a friend about my suicide note. She demanded that I promise I wouldn't follow through, but how could I when I was writing it no more than a few minutes before I joined a call with her? The funny thing is, most of that note was me trying to comfort my friends and family for when I'm gone. FML
Today, I tried thinking of the best way to kill myself without leaving my body intact enough for people to continue to judge. FML
Today, if anyone wants to know how my day’s going, I have a preteen who recently discovered the idea of death, which led to life after death, which led to "What if there is no life after death?", just non-existence, no self awareness, just oblivion. Preteen plus existential dread. God help me. FML
Today, I was feeling suicidal and needed to talk to someone about it, so I called up the only person in the world who cares about me: my mom. Or so I thought. Her immediate response was, “You should go ahead and end it.” FML
Today, I was talking to my professor and explained how depressed and stressed out I am. He called the police to my house because he thought that would help with my suicidal thoughts. My parents don't believe in mental health, and I want to die more. FML
Today, my best friend of five years left cause I “followed them” and that made me depressed, then I couldn’t go outside or to class anymore cause I was too depressed, then my girlfriend, whom I was going to marry, left me because, you guessed it, I was too depressed. Now I’m in a mental hospital for trying to kill myself. FML
Today, despite years of therapy, I still can’t seem to shake the religious indoctrination I suffered through for 20 years. I’m a morally good person who is kind, caring, and upstanding, yet I still have horrific anxiety and depression thinking that I’m going to hell for leaving religion. Nothing helps. FML
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Top comments
CounselorSmileyFace 8
800-273-8255
sirrubberduckie 37
You can also text HOME to 741741 for the Crisis Textline. You matter, and there is hope.
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Comments (7)
CounselorSmileyFace 8
800-273-8255
RichardPencil 32
How about avoiding eternity in Hell? I think Catholicism frowns upon that.
sirrubberduckie 37
You can also text HOME to 741741 for the Crisis Textline. You matter, and there is hope.
Jonkbaby 23
Don't do it my friend. I remember experiencing anxiety during high school, ended up with a good friend with an acquaintance through it. Hope you can find some good support people. Hugs and support
Brightside86 31
For me it's always been my family. I just couldn't do that to them, it's totally out of the question. I've known people who have committed suicide and it can really leave a lasting impact on those close to you.
hkatz 9
I think about that too. how sad my pets would be. I do hope your pets bring you joy and comfort and remind how precious your life is.
Sonotsuave 37
I felt that way once too, not too long ago. My friends and family helped me get help. Please talk to a counselor/therapist, lean on your support system, call hotlines and reach out to the AFSP, and consider medication. I’m on lexapro and it’s changed my life. You can be happy, promise! ❤️