Dumbest cheater
Today, and for the last few weeks, I'd let the nagging feeling that my boyfriend was up to something go. It's also the day I found his messages to other girls on Xbox Live of all things. On a profile that we both share. FML
Today, and for the last few weeks, I'd let the nagging feeling that my boyfriend was up to something go. It's also the day I found his messages to other girls on Xbox Live of all things. On a profile that we both share. FML
Today, I walked out into my backyard. As I did so, my dogs ran past me, slamming the sliding door off its track. I went to catch it, and knocked the bird cage over. To complete the fumble, as I turned to catch the bird cage, I stepped in a dog turd. I wasn't wearing shoes. We're all okay, but… FML
Today, after spending $15,000 to treat my dog's cancer over the past two months, he died of kidney failure. FML
Today, I spent 2 minutes struggling to cork a wine bottle for one of my tables only to have them eventually point out to me that the bottle was a twist-off. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML
Today, I bought a 37-pound sex doll on Amazon, just so I could cuddle it and cry myself to sleep, until she decides if she wants a divorce in three months. FML
Today, I found out that my mom is not only reading my mail, but she is also withholding letters from my bank, college, and insurance company. Why? Because "they could be inappropriate" for me to read. I'm 25. FML
xele tells us more.
xele 0
Oh yeah, I am from Poland and its very UNcommon to NOT live with your parents even at the age of 30 and having your own family. People here have family houses and we dont move out like ppl in US. Houses are passed down on younger generations who takes responsibility for it and their older parents at the same time.
Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML
Today, my supervisor asked me to help him for some modifications on an Excel sheet. I helped him for some stuff, but couldn't help him completely. He said to me, " Try to learn more about Excel, I want someone to satisfy my needs." FML
Today, I started my 17th birthday by having to clean my son’s extremely poopy diaper. FML
Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML
Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML
Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
Today, my mom cleaned my room, while doing so she found a very detailed sex book I got from an ex boyfriend as a "gift". For years I had her convinced I was still a virgin, until today. FML
Today, I saw my wife pick her nose and suck on her fingers. We're 38. FML
Today, according to my boss, he could cancel out the chill effect of pot brownies by mixing Red Bull into coffee. Somehow, I think his wastedness was still noticeable, since he fell asleep at an important meeting and our main investor pulled out, putting most of our jobs at risk. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML
Today, the pimples on my face are finally clearing up. They seem to have migrated to my ass. FML
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law informed me that since she is putting money into our wedding, that all the planning and arrangements are under her authority. FML
Today, my grandma's cat peed on my full leg cast. The closest doctor was a three hour drive away. So my grandma wouldn't take me at all the whole weekend. FML
murphx3x tells us more.
murphx3x 0
hey im the one who did this post.. so to explain all of this, i wasn't in pennsylvania at the time. thats just where i live now. my grandma lives in alaska. she lives in like a really isolated cabin area. it doesn't even have running water. she likes it out there. and 3 hours is a exageration. its actually two hours. yet again with my grandma's really beat up car and well, her slow driving, it takes us about 3 hours. and yes its safee for her to live out there by herself (and my grandpa) because they are both very very healthy. and not that old. she's a little over 50 and my grandpa is only 40 cause he just got married to her. and for everyone who's wondering, I WAS ASLEEEP. i woke up due to the terrible smell. my grandma made me stay in a serperate room and my plane ride was on monday morning and i had some trouble with the plane ride and getting through security. i had to put a huge plastic bag over it and lets just say, THANK YA FEBREEZE. but in the end, i came home and my first stop was the hospital. i hope everyone got a good kick out of it though. cause i didn't. not to mention cell phone service was real bad out there, and my mom made me stay to keep my grandparents company (she thinks its bad that they are so isolated.) oh and you have to go to the doctors to get the cast off. theres no way that smell is gonna get out. although i wish i had known about the vinegar trick before. and for anyone who doesn't have a cat, STFU. it smells like death. ughh it was prettty bad, and also thank the lord for nose plugs.
Today, I received a wedding invitation. It was from my ex-girlfriend, who left me for my brother. FML
Today, my OCD has got so bad that I took over 10 pictures of my house's power outlets before leaving, just so I could view them later to reassure myself that no appliances were plugged in. FML
Jen_NM tells us more.
Jen_NM 8
Thanks for all the comments, I've enjoyed reading them. Just for a little background, my biggest issue is my hair straightener. Years ago I left it unplugged and caused a burn to the countertop. Since then I obsessively check to make sure it's off, and now other things make me paranoid as well. OCD behaviors are strange, because you often know that you're being completely irrational. Anyhow, I'm really trying to ease up and lately I've managed to get by with just the one picture to reassure myself that the straightening iron is unplugged. I do plan to get help if it progresses, but can't really afford it at this time.
Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML
Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML
Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on Facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML
Today, my guy, who is a PhD candidate, informed me that it is his goal in life to own every Will Ferrell movie. FML
Today, I was kicked out of my track team's locker room because the coach said there weren't enough lockers for everyone on the team. There are 74 lockers and only 52 girls on the team. FML
Today, I bought a kitten. I've wanted a cat for years and decided to finally buy one now that I have my own apartment. It turns out I'm allergic to cats. FML
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