Today, I spent 2 minutes struggling to cork a wine bottle for one of my tables only to have them eventually point out to me that the bottle was a twist-off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I dropped a $400 bottle of wine while trying to get the cork out. FML
Today, I saw that the wine bottle I couldn't open last night had a big hole in the top from my struggle to open it. It was a screw top. I must've been drunker than I thought last night. FML
Today, at the winery, my boss proudly made a spectacle of the new, high quality bottles. After over a year of employment without breaking a bottle, I shattered three before lunch. FML
Today, I discovered I don’t even have the dexterity to screw the cap back onto a bottle of soda without dropping it. Not only that, but mother saw the need to point it out and laugh at me, so people around us in the store stared. FML
Today, I knocked over and broke one of two very expensive wine bottles. As I was using the mop to clean it up, the handle knocked over and broke the other. FML
Today, I struggled to open a childproof bottle, which, by the way, had the instructions printed on the lid. FML.
Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML
Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML
Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML
Today, some friends and I had a wine tasting evening, and I tried to impress my friends by showing off my extensive knowledge of different wines. I confidently described the subtle "notes of vanilla and oak" in a bottle of wine… only to find out that my "friends" had pranked me, and it was actually grape juice. FML
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Top comments
zebraface123 6
nipples in my face gonna save the human race
msgreenneyes 0
hahahhahahah dont worry about it i work at an italian resturant and it happens to me all the time
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Comments (11)
ZING_MASTER 0
So... you're an idiot.
msgreenneyes 0
hahahhahahah dont worry about it i work at an italian resturant and it happens to me all the time
zebraface123 6
nipples in my face gonna save the human race
Dimaranien 1
haha phailboat.
lifegrdlover 0
lmao hahahahahhah that's hysterical if i were those people i wouldn't have told you :-P
australiaaaa 0
lmao story of my life, i always assume its cork, so i stick the corkscrew in. takes me at least a minute to realize its a twist off :X
RatIsKing 0
ahahahaha! that's one of the funniest things I've ever heard XD
shiznutmuffin 0
this is more of an mlia
airforce987 20
exactly what I thought!
colts609380 7
2 min isn't that long
Ikz_Hustler 9
I think 13's high. I can't believe you struggled for a WHOLE 2 MINUTES before you clocked LOL :)))