The Top

31- If I had any inkling of what was going on, I would have tried to do something about it. I didn't even know he had a girlfriend, let alone that he was having sex.

By Anonymous - 20/11/2015 19:27 - United States - Clearwater

Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 019

You deserved it 5 166

By KayKay - 23/09/2016 06:33 - United States - Ware

Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 1 385

By Anonymous - 14/07/2016 00:56 - Canada - Concord

Today, I fell off the top of my bunk bed in my sleep onto a running fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 194

You deserved it 1 578

By Anonymous - 11/06/2016 05:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 443

You deserved it 1 734

By iams - 30/08/2018 06:00

Today, I found out my mom is banging my ex-boyfriend's best friend. He’s 22 and my mom is 50. Oh, and not only does my ex know, but so does the whole town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 554

You deserved it 345

By Jake Leiter - 20/03/2016 18:12 - United States - Grantham

Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 026

You deserved it 1 235

By hotmama - 06/10/2018 22:05

Today, I just hit 41 weeks pregnant. Today is also the day my AC decided to die. I live in Florida, where it's hot WITH the AC on. This is gonna be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 494

You deserved it 288

wolfygirl626 tells us more.

wolfygirl626 8

Saturday 6 October 2018 6:29

op here! i submitted this two weeks ago and every thing is fine now, did get induced about four days later. since this is my first baby, it was expected of me to go over the due date :P we're both happy, healthy, and chilling with the new window ac.

Splosh

By WhosGoingToCleanThisUp - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter taught me the literal meaning of "When the shit hits the fan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 079

You deserved it 1 849

Danger zone

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I broke my glasses. How did I break my glasses? A cow kicked me in the face at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 359

You deserved it 333

By Cat’s dildo - 29/11/2018 02:53

Today, I realized after I wrapped myself in a blanket that it was my cat's "humping blanket". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 109

You deserved it 780

Alaina Heuerman tells us more.

Alaina Heuerman 20

Thursday 22 November 2018 14:46

Alright I didn’t really wanna follow up but I need to clarify. HE IS NEUTERED he has been since we got him. Also that was my blanket but it very recently became humping blanket 2. Let’s just say he really likes soft fluffy blankets. So all of mine... (yes that’s him in my profile pic btw)

By lambeaster - 20/01/2016 14:27 - United States - Washington

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 848

You deserved it 3 724