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By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 12:17 - United States

Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 624

You deserved it 42 679

By MLAA - 25/09/2012 00:52 - United States - Loma Linda

Today, one of my regulars approached me at work, arms extended for a hug. He's always in a bad mood, so I figured for once he wasn't grumpy and I enthusiastically hugged him. Turns out he was just stretching his arms. He told me I was crazy and pretty much ran out of my store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 490

You deserved it 5 650

MLAA_fml tells us more.

MLAA_fml 1

Tuesday 25 September 2012 19:04

For all the people who think this is strange you have to understand hes been a regular at my store for 2 years. Its not like it was some random person. Hes so depressed and angry every time, so when I finally saw him for once not looking upset and like he wanted a hug I went for it. Silly mistake on my part but what can I say I always hope for the best in people. He came back today and apologized. See a friendly hug goes a long way. So you negative people need a hug.

By NoMoreMeters - 29/10/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, during my fourth solo day working as a meter-maid, I had a vehicle towed for being parked in front of a fire hydrant. The vehicle belonged to the governor. I'm scared to even show my face at work next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 369

You deserved it 4 878

Sing me to sleep…

By anonymous - 25/09/2020 20:01

Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 578

You deserved it 159

By ihateteenagers - 30/12/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 676

You deserved it 10 166

By warningxxLidell - 09/01/2010 06:45 - United States

Today, I was driving on roads that were bad from two days of snow. I spun my car out, and ended up half-way in a ditch. Thinking that I could push my car out of the snow, I got out of my car, landing in waist deep snow. When trying to get back in, I fell neck deep into snow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 701

You deserved it 6 094

Reminder

By dad - 29/06/2009 16:38 - United States

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back into the house, screaming, "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 786

You deserved it 8 369

By Anonymous - 27/12/2010 18:37 - United States

Today, after shoveling one guy's steps, sidewalk, and driveway for two hours straight, I went to ask for my money. He said, "Work is its own reward!" and shut the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 559

You deserved it 5 885

By Anonymous - 18/09/2012 14:48 - United Kingdom - London

Today, thinking I was alone in my house, I went downstairs in my underwear, singing at the top of my voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house for the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 495

You deserved it 4 498

j5maria tells us more.

j5maria 11

Wednesday 19 September 2012 1:17

Hi everyone, it was me that posted this FML! Loving all your comments, and yes, it was a pretty embarrassing moment.

By blahpizzablah - 22/06/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 649

You deserved it 3 823

Sexy!

By troubleintoyland - 24/12/2010 03:03 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 898

You deserved it 9 582

Wrong place, wrong time

By lug_nut - 06/01/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 484

You deserved it 3 338

By Rowan Curry - 15/09/2012 15:37 - United States - San Jose

Today, I got mad at my parents and threatened to run away. Things got so bad that I packed a bag and left, planning to hide in my front yard to teach them a lesson. It's been two hours, and I'm still standing behind a bush in front of my house while they make no effort to look for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 680

You deserved it 49 366

By jumpy - 03/01/2010 23:59 - United States

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 642

You deserved it 6 564

By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 19:16 - Sweden - Guayanilla

Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 353

You deserved it 4 392

By ohwell - 24/11/2014 13:44 - Sweden - Tullinge

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 969

You deserved it 3 312

Ally

By yashmoshin1 - 17/06/2009 14:06 - United States

Today, I finished the run for a play in which I played a gay man. Now that all the performances are over, I have kissed a man more times in my life than I have kissed a woman. I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 596

You deserved it 10 290

Betrayal

By sisterly love - 14/08/2013 21:13 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 236

You deserved it 4 167

Overthinking it

By omgreally91 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 687

You deserved it 30 718

By Jessica S. - 06/09/2012 11:15 - United States - Louisville

Today, I found out that the mysterious and creepy weirdo guy that continuously sends me messages on Facebook is my manager at my new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 487

You deserved it 2 033

Get out of there

By Foxflame - 30/01/2022 08:01 - United States

Today, my family is supposed to be enjoying a day with my in-laws. The drawback? I have to spend time with my stepmom-in-law who is a conspiracy theorist, and my stepsister-in-law who has an unvaccinated 3 year-old who’s been sick a lot lately and looks like death. I have a 4 year-old and a newborn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 317

The sweet smell of success

By Anonymous - 29/10/2020 11:02

Today, my dad decided to make home-made popcorn. He accidentally used old fish oil instead of mazola oil. Now the house reeks of fish and we can't even throw the popcorn out for fear of attracting wild animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 122

By WHAT A NICE GUY YOU ARE, SIR SHITSPAWN!!!1! - 09/08/2013 22:13 - United States

Today, this weird kid in class asked me on a date. He claims to be a werewolf. His excuse for not being able to turn into one? A "rare disease." His excuse for everyone rejecting him? "Friend-zoning bitches." I was the last resort even for a jackoff "nice guy" werewolf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 452

You deserved it 3 718

Alexa, play "Lovesong" by The Cure

By Guitar-ZERO - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my band had a show. We played a love song, and during the bridge, I asked out a friend of mine who was in the crowd, over the mic, in front of at least 200 people. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 892

You deserved it 23 330

By thefatnurse - 13/11/2014 02:48 - United States - Roswell

Today, one of the patients on the mental health unit where I work looked me up and down and said, "Well, I guess it's a popular misconception that all fat people are jolly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 227

You deserved it 4 626

By dumbdad - 28/12/2009 07:30 - United States

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 279

You deserved it 3 481

By Ltsdragons - 11/11/2014 04:07 - United States - Caldwell

Today, I was so lonely, I caught myself whispering to my food just so I had someone to talk to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 255

You deserved it 5 074

Ltsdragons tells us more.

Ltsdragons 19

Tuesday 11 November 2014 17:15

OP here, I do turn the TV on too sometimes just for the noise and to pretend that there's a miniature party going on in the room next to me and I just can't see the people or whatever. It's actually not that bad. My parents are very busy people so they aren't home most of the time, and my girlfriend generally is volunteering at all these places. So I have a lot of time to be alone and do nothing xD