The Top

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Racing rats

By Anonymous - 04/10/2019 20:00

Today, after working my ass off for months for an open supervisor job at my work, I found out that they hired someone for the position. The guy has never worked for the company before, has a background completely unrelated to what we do, and has to be trained as he knows nothing about what we do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 720

You deserved it 154

By Time to study again - 08/11/2017 15:00

Today, I was taking the SAT and feeling really confident in my answers. When we were close to finishing, some idiot pulled the fire alarm. All of us have to retake it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 683

You deserved it 231

How could you?

By Anonymous - 16/08/2022 16:00

Today, my girlfriend punched me in the back of the neck because I was talking to a woman online. It was a public Call Of Duty match, I have no control over who I play with, plus I wasn’t even talking specifically to whoever this woman was, just to the people in general like all COD players. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 183

Denial

By Anonymous - 02/06/2021 16:59 - United States

Today, my little brother got a tattoo honoring our mom who abused us. The only reason I stayed was to protect him. I feel like I wasted my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 105

Whooped

By leah - 16/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 144

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 08/06/2021 10:59

Today, my husband seems to think sex once a month is adequate, and that it’s acceptable to nap on the sofa once he gets home from work, wake up for dinner, then go straight to bed. I also can’t speak to him while he’s eating, because he’s watching tv. I thought I had a husband, not a roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 577

You deserved it 229

Getting through this

By Anonymous - 14/06/2021 14:01 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, just three weeks after my wife died, I received a substantial life insurance payment. Do I laugh or cry? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 119

You deserved it 114

Policy of truth

By You asked… - 16/12/2023 15:00 - United States - Granby

Today, my friend asked me to tell her the truth why she’s single and friendless except for me. I answered honestly and told her it’s because she’s so negative it drives people away, and it doesn’t help that she’s got bad BO and is morbidly obese. Now she won’t talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 225

It's not mine, dumbass

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 01:00

Today, my girlfriend announced to me that she is pregnant and tried to tell me it was mine. I lost both testicles to an infection as a teenager so, no way it’s mine. Somehow, she never made the mental connection that no balls equals no children and no way to convince me I’m the dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 221

You deserved it 227

Inference

By Canuckboy - 24/06/2021 07:59 - Canada

Today, a few weeks after coming out to my parents, my mother randomly asked me, "Your father and I have tried anal sex a few times, but it hurts too much. D'you have any advice on what to do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 419

Happy wife, happy life

By seriously - 12/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, it's been six months since I got married and my wife has since gained over forty pounds of unhealthy weight. She's not depressed, she's very happy with the marriage, she's just "comfortable" now. We are in our early thirties, and we started off as workout partners. I've been going to the gym alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 217

J'ACCUSE!

By Anonymous - 15/01/2024 20:00 - United States - Sterling

Today, after I'd been working a 14-hour day, my wife texted me to tell me how she would like to kill me. Apparently, the lid to the garlic container was not screwed on tight enough and it spilled all in the fridge. How is that my fault? FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 173

Cunning

By Single Again - 07/03/2020 06:11

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 349

You deserved it 169

Flies gonna fly

By Defeated - 10/10/2022 23:40 - United States

Today, I've become so accustomed to having flies in my house that I just gave up on getting rid of them. I only kill the ones that repeatedly land on my face or, worst of all, in my ears. Especially when they get stuck in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 780

Not so Karate Kid

By Matthew - 09/03/2020 19:00 - United States - Juneau

Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 353

Nice mental image

By Maggie - 17/03/2020 17:00

Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 345

Worth a shot

By Anonymous - 29/03/2020 17:00

Today, I told the guy I've been in love with for a year how I felt. He replied, "There will never be an us, but you can send nudes if you like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 962

You deserved it 277

Mother of the year

By Anonymous - 23/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, my bitch mother informed me I have two weeks to find a new place to live. When I said she legally has to give me thirty days, she said she doesn’t because I refuse to pay rent as an adult. I have schizophrenia, obesity, and I’m not obligated to pay her rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 1 122

By Anonymous - 19/06/2019 00:04

Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 254

WTF people?!

By Anonymous - 26/04/2020 08:00

Today, as an essential worker, some lady tore me a new one because we were out of large sanitizer bottles. Our doors opened at 9 a.m. and she didn't show up until 2 p.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 120

This is why we can't have nice things

By Anonymous - 13/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I’m an adult and my mother lives with me, not me with her. She found out I was going to be gone for 9 days on vacation and that she couldn’t come, so she had a “mental break down” and checked herself into a psych ward. Last year, she did the same thing when I graduated college and celebrated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 111

Covert failure

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 20:01

Today, I failed school and ghosted all my teachers. Nobody knows, but I'm planning on telling my parents in a week. I'm fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 1 253

Pubes of steel

By bushburn - 01/06/2020 02:00

Today, I had to finally give my boyfriend an ultimatum. Either he at least trims his giant mass of unruly pubes or no more sex. I feel I have no choice since his huge bush has left friction burns on my face and down below. He doesn’t see the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 288

Bad boy

By thehaystackerine - 24/06/2020 14:02

Today, my family and I are spending the weekend with my in-laws, and their disrespectful, disobedient asshole of a dog. He does whatever he wants, and if I scold him, my mother-in-law in turn scolds me, then tells me how something one of us did is to blame for the dog's behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 481

You deserved it 305

Season finale

By liar liar plants for hire - 03/08/2020 23:01

Today, thanks to traveling restrictions being lifted, I was finally able to go visit the guy I've been chatting with online for the past year. When we met it was like a TV show, well more like three shows: Catfish, Hoarders and My 600lbs life. Turns out he had his neighbor video chat me all along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 749

You deserved it 672

Truth bomb

By Anonymous - 31/10/2021 19:59 - United States - Greenville

Today, I'm realizing that it never gets better, we just get used to life being terrible. There's no point where it all gets better, just tolerable if we're lucky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 229

Meet the in-laws

By Anonymous - 13/11/2021 19:59

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. He pointed to two crossed swords above the fireplace and informed me the right one is his, and that if I ever hurt his daughter, he’ll give me a fighting chance by letting me use the left one. This guy thinks he lives in the Middle Ages or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 418

By Home owner. - 16/10/2018 13:30

Today, I was touring a house I’m interested in when one of the two realtors stepped out for a minute and never came back. My purse was stolen from my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 440

You deserved it 312

The healthcare system is broken

By no sleep til - 29/12/2021 11:01

Today, I tried talking to my doctor about my insomnia several times, but all she does is prescribe me antidepressants, and tells me to take melatonin or exercise. I ate two melatonin gummies nearly 12 hours ago. I haven’t slept a wink, and my insurance won’t pay for another doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 151

By Panda Man - 29/11/2018 17:30 - United States - Seattle

Today, I had a meeting with my girlfriend, who I live with and work with but on different teams. Both our teams got laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 973

You deserved it 149

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The Top

Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 012

You deserved it 3 982

Today, I went with my sister to her company Christmas party. They had a gift raffle, my number was called and I won $25 for a local restaurant. A few moments later, the manager came over and said, "You don't work here? You can't have that" and took it from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 564

You deserved it 7 156

Today, I put on the same jeans that I had left in a bundle in my bedroom the day before. A few hours later, my boxer shorts decided to make their spectacular reappearance trick at the bottom of my leg in the middle of one of my meetings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 104

You deserved it 11 628

Today, a child that was born due to my donation to a sperm bank in 1995 contacted me. My current wife, who I met in 2003, is convinced I cheated on her and is filing for a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 735

You deserved it 552

Today, my aunt vented her anger on us for no reason, and her words really cut like a knife. I always pray that someday I'll have a home that I can call my own, where I can lay my head and heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 135

Today, I found out that my favorite female coworker was in a car accident. When I told my girlfriend, her only reaction was to roll her eyes and sarcastically say, "Oh no." She then immediately, and very enthusiastically, asked if the accident killed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 326