Today, I was playing GTA V, and being the horny bastard that I am, I went to the club and was getting a lap dance in-game. My cousin walked in to find me kissing the TV. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML
Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
Today, I went to a strip club and got a dance from a 19-year-old who was clearly not into me. I left and got into my car, and parked on a busy street. For some reason, the desire to do something pathetic was coursing through my veins, and so… I jerked off right there in my car. I think I was trying to get caught. FML
Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML
Today, I was so horny, I decided to meet up secretly with a guy after having dinner with family. We went for a night drive and he parked somewhere to go down on me. The dude was sucking the life out of my clit, almost biting it off. Good thing my mum called and I had a reason to escape the ordeal. FML
Today, I thought it would be hot to go down on my girlfriend while she was playing a video game on the PC. Unfortunately, someone killed her in game and she wheeled the chair forward in anger, right into my nuts. It took her a few seconds to notice, then she blamed me for getting her killed. FML
Today, a guy I like invited me to play video games. Naked. He asked me to show up naked too. I did. He was too busy in a video game raid to even notice. FML
Today, I was playing GTA4 and went on its fake dating site to email a girl to go on a date with. I've never had much luck with dating in real life, so I figured the game would be more kind to me. After a while I went back to check my email, and the fake girl I'd propositioned told me to get lost. FML
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Top comments
Plop 17
Oooof. There are people dying in the Sahara who aren't as thirsty as you are.
BurnInDemonFire 39
That's not being horny, that's you being messed up in the head.
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Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
Video games are bullshit! In real strip clubs, they have a three-foot rule. That means if you get within three feet of a TV, the bouncer puts three feet up your ass!
RichardPencil 32
Why would I do that?
legalgravethief 8
Have you considered therapy?
Plop 17
Oooof. There are people dying in the Sahara who aren't as thirsty as you are.
Brightside86 31
This comment is so on point I wish I could gild it.
BurnInDemonFire 39
That's not being horny, that's you being messed up in the head.
Suzi_d16 27
Just go have a wank like a normal person
Wadlaen 24
Sounds like you need to get laid!
gidonene 7
Dude!!?