Today, I received a marriage proposal at work from a 70 year-old man, covered in dirt from head to toe, who offered to be my "sugar daddy." I guess I have options after all. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML
Today, my 70 year-old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML
Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML
Today, my long-term boyfriend took me to my favorite restaurant. After the main course, he knelt down and finally proposed to me. I was so happy, I almost cried. Until an old woman came over and said I was way too old for him. I'm three years younger than my fiancé. FML
Today, I asked my fiance for some attention. He licked my cheek and attached himself to my leg. He's 34 years old. FML
Today, after a year and half of being single, I was asked out on a date. I was asked by a married man. FML
Today, I'm 20 years-old and I was propositioned by a 42 year-old man, who turned out to be my dad's friend who helped care for me when I was 2 to 7 years-old. FML
Today, I found out that my 50-year-old Father is the 'Sugar Daddy' to a 20-year-old. He wasted my college funds on her, which I have been dutifully saving for ever since I was 10. FML
Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML
Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
I know you might thinking it's the way to go now, but suicide is never the right option.
honeybee366 0
lol. that's creepy...but very funny. did he at least have a ring?
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Comments (71)
gusgus36 5
haha perfect!
jazmixer 0
yes you are.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
Fail^. are you sure it was mud and not brown sugar? because I would love a sugar daddy, I can't get enough of the stuff
noober2000 0
lol
schwancy 2
Dammit I was going to make a brown sugar comment, but they beat me to it.
desigirl2010 0
At least you he doesn't have commitment issues. Probably because he doesn't have much time left. I like how I type everything out carefully because I'm afraid of grammar Nazis. Or maybe I'm afraid because I secretly am one. Dun dun dunnnn.
desigirl2010 0
^minus the 'you'. Yes I get the irony of my comment.
DrAwesome 6
Hey, do you get the irony of your- Oh. Never mind. *sneaks back out of the Interwebz*
PointAndLaugh 0
Hey, do you ge- Oh dammit.
desigirl2010 0
lol. interwebz = tubes n pipes.
sarinasusu 2
Haha! At least that guys "up to date"
Lucidium 0
Don't mess with Jazmixer guys, he has a fully sick RX-8 bro.
DocBastard 40
Desi, don't be afraid of us. The only people we really flame are those who adamantly argue for their right to spell incorrectly, have poor syntax, and ignore punctuation.
docbrown_fml 0
to all grammar Nazis: have you ever noticed that the English language is very redundant and, while it has many rules regarding sentence structure and syntax, they essentially mean nothing in the days of text messages and emoticons?
APurpleWaffle 0
Yes, but then again, try handing in a report to your proffesor which determines wether you pass or fail the course, and it reads: 'Dood this wun guy waz like toaly a jackaz and he like killd a buncha pplz cuz they waz jewz LOL whut a jackazz' Sometimes being a grammar nazi is a good thing. And yes, I've seen people type like that in actual reports for school. It's a sad day for the world when people whom speak like that are getting into college. I understand English is the hardest language to master, but at least learn the basics. For gods' sakes, a first grader has better grammar and spelling proficiency than some adults.
Elizabeth123654 0
I applaud you, 60, for finally pointing out the fact that others have been mocking us with.
Killersrage 5
Grammar nazis for the win!!!! :)
Nooneslooking 0
rofl yes if he'll b ur sugar daddy
JocelynKaulitz 28
More like dirty daddy.
honeybee366 0
lol. that's creepy...but very funny. did he at least have a ring?
paid2think 0
Amazing. Get the insurance ready.
DrAwesome 6
Hey, beggars can't be choosers of beggars, amirite?
magicalrubixdude 0
wrong website...
amberbby69 6
Ooh, he's dirrrty ;)
francisw93 3
Wow your really pretty.
zemo999 0
what you mean is that the pix she posted is pretty..... gezzz this IS the Internet....
hairdreser0nfire 0
More like dirty daddy.
Zoeeee1234 0
haha good one!
tzecco 2
Hey, you're just the kind of woman he digs.
teyyoshi 19
what does sugar daddy means ?sucks …
rawrbassasaur 7
Genius...
FYLDeep 26
I know you might thinking it's the way to go now, but suicide is never the right option.