Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML
Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML
Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
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Top comments
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Not so happy meal..
stryder9090 28
He's loving it
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Comments (86)
XRud3xGuyX 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
*McDonald's theme song* He's loving' it
Bloink 25
You never thought you'd have to compete with good ole Mickey-D
dragoongirl90 34
Why didn't you finish him with your mouth or your hand?
BBeffedmylife 28
Exactly what I was thinking! Almost want to hit YDI for not taking care of it in a different way!
dragoongirl90 34
I did hit YDI. He was the one who had to get himself off. If it was awkward, it's her own fault.
Vegetarian27 24
Don't be ridiculous. OP didn't get off. It's not her job to get him off all the time. Sometimes he needs to take responsibility for himself, especially when the pleasure isn't mutual.
BBeffedmylife 28
Good luck with your future relationships.. With that mindset, you're going to need it.
JLDork 11
so what you're saying,76, is that as a woman op is obligated to always get her boyfriend off, even while sexually frustrated herself, and he shouldn't have to do anything in return, and if someone disagrees their relationships are doomed? that's a pretty horrible outlook on intimacy between couples.
BBeffedmylife 28
I never said anything "as a woman" In my opinion, when you are in a relationship you are certainly responsible for meeting the physical needs of your partner. And I also not once said that she should do it without getting anything in return. I'm saying OP deserved it because she did nothing to help the situation.
dragoongirl90 34
All I'm saying. No one in a relationship should have to take care of themselves. It's all about doing for each other.
BBeffedmylife 28
Exactly. @dragoongirl90
dragoongirl90 34
Furthermore, when she decide to sit there and watch instead of helping, it became her fault. Maybe he would have reciprocated. But if you just sit there and say FML because you're watching your man pleasure himself, there is an obvious solution.
doubleofuck 20
Perhaps you should've given each other oral sex? It may be more comfortable to do that than actual PIV sex.
CaptainPicard 3
So that really is what the special sauce is on the Big Mac!
Darkness_Hate 29
Well that's a dick move..
Chanelle_Whitney 10
lay down the passenger seat and do it doggy style.
Oblivion239 21
How did that even happen?
Tarlachia 33
I guess that Happy Meal still had no real meat?
dutchy86 20
"why not tot buy a mini Cooper" reason nummer 34362
Mauskau 36
Or a convertible...